The Darkness Before Dawn
by elenalunapotter
Summary: Since Hermione Granger lost her parents she hadn't been the same. She's caring love and a desperate pain and on her way after Voldemort's downfall, her life becomes a living hell. Certain things must be experimented in order to comprehend what life means.
1. Chapter 1

Hello there! First of all, I want to thank my beautiful and patient beta, Alex [ ], a devoted Harmonian, for her help and willing to come with me into this hell of a story XD This is the english version of _Entre Luz y Sombras_, written almost 5 years ago.

But before you start reading I have to warn you: it contains violence, rape, strong lenguage and adult situations. If you don't have a resistant stomach you may not be able to bare with this fic. Maybe you're all going to hate me at first, and some of you may cry even, but not everything is that bad. I won't spoil it giving details.

You've been warned!

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Chapter 1.

Hermione looked lonely from the window in her room. The darkness of the night on the castle overwhelmed her thoughts. It was the last week of March and the snow had melted, announcing that spring had come, but Hermione really didn't care that much.

Right on Christmas Day there was a surprise ambush on her family home. Her family died and Hermione Granger was barely alive, she was found by members of the Order of the Phoenix. Her parents, like Crookshanks, perished in the flames enveloped in the home she grew up in. That was the day she lost everything ... except her friends.

At the beginning of seventh year, Harry and Hermione were chosen by the appointed Headmistress of Hogwarts: Minerva McGonagall. Hermione remembered that her parents had shown immense pleasure and pride that their daughter was awarded with such honor in such a famous magical school.

Now it didn't even matter.

She and Ron helped Harry to destroy the Horcruxes. Hermione insisted on going to Hogwarts instead of running around only Merlin knows where looking for something they could only imagine and without any kind of clue on to where to start. Weighing the pros and cons of the task, Harry had to agree with her because in fact, Dumbledore left him with nothing tangible to work with. Deciding that Hermione's reasoning had a lot of sense, Ron, Hermione and him would go back for their seventh year at Hogwarts but not without talking first with the now Headmistress McGonagall and to ensure themselves that they'd need to go in and out of the school grounds… with no questions asked. They could do it once they were free to roam thanks to the facilities that Professor McGonagall gave them, even though she had no idea why they were absent at times, Dumbledore's portrait insisted the task had to be done, despite McGonagall's arguments.

After a lot of trips in which almost every time, one or two of them, sometimes even all three, returned injured there were now only two pieces left to destroy: the soul of Voldemort and Nagini, his snake.

A great battle was fought in mid-February at Hogwarts; Neville killing the snake and Voldemort was killed by Harry, once and for all. Of course, Harry had to be rushed to the hospital. After being weakened and wounded, he lost consciousness.

There had been changes between the three, especially when Ron realized that someone else had caught his attention: Luna Lovegood. When Hermione noticed this, she was glad for him. She even supported him because she had realized that what she felt between them was no more than a devoted friendship and Hermione loved someone else herself...

Harry and Ginny resumed their friendship. Both had agreed that there was nothing to go on, but continue to be friends. Unconsciously, Hermione felt an immense relief.

But in his convalescence, Harry was assisted by none other than Cho Chang.

She was present at the battle and as she was studying to be a healer, offered herself to take care of Harry for the three days he stayed in the hospital and to help Madame Pomfrey. Cho's attentions made Harry recover from his injuries and dehydration. Night and day she'd be there at Harry's side. Three days in the infirmary and along the rest of the casualties in the same ward and McGonagall announced a funeral for the fallen students, Harry supported by Cho, as if she were and extension of him, his shadow, and he seemed comfortable at her side.

From there on everything changed.

Hermione, sadly, noticed how Harry walked away from her so quickly, detached from her presence as if she never existed when before the battle against Voldemort he had behaved differently, almost affectionate towards her. Hermione liked to think that, perhaps, Harry looked at her in a new light ... maybe he felt something stronger than friendship. But when Cho came, Harry almost forgot all about Hermione. As soon as March began, Harry and Cho announced they got engaged.

It was at that moment when Hermione seemed to vanish in front of everyone ... and no one noticed that her heart shattered. It was then she realized that what she felt for Harry was so hard it hurt. How much was given, at last, that she loved Harry ... and that her dreams took flight, never to return.

Harry looked so happy - his footsteps were cheerful and jovial - and that increasingly demoralized her. But being as she was, she never showed her feelings. Hermione suppressed her pain and took refuge in the library or in her room, cloistered herself as much as she could. As the Head boy and Head girl they had their own room and common room, Hermione could put a silencing charm around her room and unleash the pain that threatened with the reveal of that little secret.

Tonight, staring into the darkness outside from her seat by the window, a single tear fell down her cheek. No crying, no moaning, no weeping around ... it was just the tears that burned and screams that demanded to get unleashed, which seemed to slowly roll on her porcelain skin...

What seemed strange to her was that the rest of her classmates were also indifferent towards her, as if she were no longer important. But no, not at all strange: Ron and Luna became ever closer like Ginny and Neville. Harry spent his time concentrating on writing to Cho on weekdays and weekends she visited with permission from McGonagall. Hermione tried to understand them, even if it hurt their behavior.

A month before leaving on vacation, and one week to present the NEWTS, there was a Hogsmeade weekend and all went to visit the 'The Three Broomsticks'. Of course, Cho Chang waited there for Harry and when they arrived, the girl rushed to him and kissed him in front of those who were already placidly having their drinks. But that did not matter either to Harry or Cho. It's exactly what they expected, giving a show to anyone who was around.

Hermione was already used to seeing these demonstrations of affection of the couple, and the others, although they were more discreet, smiled as usual. And she was alone. It hurt to know that no one took care, not a little bit. She wished to be Cho Chang at that moment.

After a while, seeing herself terribly bored (not to say that her heart was breaking a little bit more watching that all of them were coupled except for her), she decided to pay her only butterbeer and went out silently. She did not say goodbye to anyone because the last time she did none of them took notice, and thought it best not to interfere with their leisure time.

She was so overwhelmed with sadness and thought that walking back to the castle instead of getting into a carriage would help clear her mind. Sighing, she walked back to the area of the castle, but at certain point on the way she decided to take a different path directly into the woods. Instead of going straight to the shelter of her room, where she knew that nothing and nobody would see or hear her no matter what, Hermione walked into the Forbidden Forest with slow and heavy steps. She couldn't recall a sadder walk but those into her favorite space: a bench by the Black Lake surrounded by thick trees, a little out of the castle and far from Hagrid's hut. She ventured into the woods walking for more than fifteen minutes and found her favorite place where she sat contemplating the picture of that dark little clearing she found a while ago.

Although there was still sun, the thickness of the trees and branches and leaves almost left nothing but small space for a few rays of light reflecting on the surface of the water, like small hopes, as if nature could give some advice if one would look hard enough.

Once settled on the bank of small stones, she looked around her: nature. There was something comforting about it. It was the feeling that, though her life seemed to mean nothing, the life around her radiated some well needed energy.

Sighs were all that escaped her mouth, but her mind did nothing but wonder what was next.

That was the only question she could mentally ask because immediately her wand flew through the air and made a small leap out of her reach. A cold laugh was what made her turn and realized that there was someone behind.

"How odd for you to be alone, Mudblood!" somebody screamed.

It was Draco Malfoy. At his comment Hermione heard the snickering of Crabbe, Goyle, Zabini and Nott.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Hermione asked irritated.

"I could ask you the same ... but to me it's obvious that you're here because no one listens to you ... everyone abandoned you. Your friends don't care anymore. They realize you're worthless," said Malfoy walking towards her while the others surrounded her. Hermione couldn't help but feel scared. Not only was she alone, but unarmed and far from help. She just looked at the blonde with contempt, trying to cover her growing fear.

"You still have not told me why you're here."

"I will not answer to someone as inferior," Draco Malfoy snarled playing with Hermione's wand in one hand.

"Give me my wand" Hermione demanded extending a hand.

"Why do you want it? People like you shouldn't have one."

"I order you to give my wand back," she said in a hard tone.

"You're no one to order me, filthy Mudblood!" And with this, Draco slapped her in the face with his wand. Instantly a red line appeared on her left cheek. The strike left her seeing little lights behind her eyelids and felt someone behind her holding her arms. Hermione struggled to free herself, but seeing who had fastened her arms had not yielded even a little, the others laughed.

"Let go of me!" Hermione screamed. Malfoy grabbed her hair forcefully making her head stop moving. A small grunt of pain mixed with anger spat out of her mouth.

"Now, now, Granger," said Malfoy in cool and calm tone, "if you behave like a good girl, I promise it won't hurt."

This frightened her instantly. She thought he wanted to humiliate her, something that could easily ignore, but never thought she'd heard the word 'hurt'.

"Hurt? What do you mean? What do you want?"

"I'll make you a big favor." Malfoy said bringing his face close to hers. "I've noticed that your friends do not need you and therefore ignore you ... I've noticed how you look at Potter. Too bad he no longer remembers you. Who's going to care about someone as insignificant as you? In the end, he chose someone better."

"Harry is my friend," Hermione argued in grunts of pain. Malfoy grabbed her hair harder and Crabbe and Goyle, who had her arms, tightened when she tried to escape again. The Slytherin just let out audible laughter at the predicament of the girl.

"I think you wanted something more than friendship ... however I can fix that," he says with a leer and small chuckle.

"What do you mean?"

"I recently had an epiphany ... I feel sorry to know that nobody likes you or notice you. So what I do is an act of mercy towards you," he smirks.

Draco Malfoy kept his wand and tossed up Hermione's, she watches as it got lost in the bushes. With horror, the girl saw the blonde's hands touching her hair and neck, slowly down to the buttons of her shirt. The boy's hands rubbing on her skin caused a tremor that shook her stomach in fear. Nott came at Hermione's ear and whispered:

"Malfoy said that we're going to show you our mercy," with this, Malfoy tore her blouse, exposing her bra to the cool evening air. She gasped and the next thing she knew was that she was on the floor. They had dropped their arms but they tied her wrists above her head. They tied the other end of the rope to a nearby tree.

Hermione had fallen silent. She did not know what was happening, but the fear that the violence was larger than any she'd felt. She trembled.

"Relax, Mudblood" said Malfoy as he took off his own shirt and unbuttoned his trousers. "In the end this is just a good deed. Who would want to make love to you?"

Hermione then realized what they meant. She opened her mouth to scream but Zabini pointed his wand and the silencing spell hit her square in her chest. As much as she opened and closed her mouth screaming for help, not a sound was audible, as she saw Malfoy knelt beside her shirtless, with a stroke of a wand, the bra was ripped off in half. The blonde removed the garment took it out of the way to see that Hermione's breasts instantly hardened. The boy's hands went straight to her, his thumbs and forefingers played with her nipples. Hermione could not move. Fear had paralyzed her. She looked at the others who, in turn, admired her naked chest with looks of lust and madness.

While Malfoy caressed her, Zabini knelt at her side and removed her skirt to the eager eyes of the boys. After that, all she felt was horror, horror at its best. Hands. Wrong hands touched every part she hid of her body as she heard the dirty malicious comments and laughter.

Her breathing was rapid and elaborate. She would be tarnished. She had dreamed that one day would be delivered with love and passion, her body would enjoy together with her love, one in a deep and intimate act, not forced and vulgar.

Soon the only thing that was on her knees with his pants below the thighs was Malfoy, as he opened the girl's legs and positioned between them. Draco Malfoy put most of his weight on Hermione and hovered swiftly to her ear.

"You'll like this," Malfoy whispered. "How many can say they have the honor of opening their legs to a Malfoy? Although this may be because I feel sorry for you," Hermione closed her eyes silently prayed as she felt the head pushing in. "I'm going to make you a woman ... and I must admit that you aren't as bad... for a Mudblood." Hermione had shouted with all the force of her being but her vocal chords emitted nothing. Malfoy penetrated her hard causing her narrow cavity- opening for him in agonizing pain. Almost immediately the tears fell out of her eyes as she silently gasped at such an invasion.

At the same time, the blond growled with pleasure but ended as she panted. Not caring if it hurt or not, Malfoy began to move inside her as his mouth took possession of her breasts, licking and biting them with fervor, in and out of it quickly. Hermione could only see him, but the pain was increasing and this made her close her eyes. She just heard and felt. After a while of listening to another cheer, Malfoy gave one last painful lunge, raising a cry when he came inside her.

The blonde came out and stood up. Hermione thought it was over but she was wrong. The pain made her close her legs, but when she felt other hands opening them again by force, Hermione saw Zabini smile sarcastically. He waited a minute and heavily penetrated her.

One by one they took turns. One by one defiled her body like a tramp. Without the slightest remorse dispatched of her so painful and vulgar and she was there unable to even ask for help or even struggling. It was useless and she knew it.

Every minute that passed was agony and sadness. She was disgusted and repugnant to those bastards toying with her body. Hermione could not fight. They were stronger and the will of the girl had collapsed. All of them ejaculated inside her, whispering dirty words in her ear, on her delicate body sweating and panting like beasts.

When it finally ended, they released one of her wrists and Hermione immediately put a hand on her soaked sex and her other arm covered her breasts crying quietly on the floor in a fetal position, listening to the Slytherin congratulate each other as if what they did was worthy of admiration.

"Just one question, Malfoy," spoke Nott, "don't you think we're going to get in trouble for this?"

Malfoy chuckled. Hermione felt someone beside her and lifted her face to see who it was. The blonde looked at her standing with indifference.

"No," Draco Malfoy quietly claimed. , "I do not even think she dares to say something to anyone. Anyway who's going to believe her? McGonagall? No... That would be humiliating for her ... say that a Slytherin did her the favor ... nobody would believe her. That would mark and label her for the rest of her life. It'd be a shame ... and whether you try, pretend dementia ... or better yet," here Malfoy smirked "if she says something, Potter will be responsible ... No! Better than that, if you say a single word about this something unfortunate may happen to Potter." Hermione opened her eyes frightened and Malfoy finally realized that his words took effect. "Who knows ... maybe, for some strange reason, Potter has an accident on the train." Cold laughs accompanied the obvious threat. "Come. We must keep going before curfew and I'm starving."

With that, Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Zabini started walking calmly through from where they arrived, leaving behind a devastated Hermione lying on the dirt. For her, the threat was quite clear and was sure of saying nothing. She wouldn't jeopardize Harry's welfare for anything.

However, to say nothing was the least of her problems. Harry was above all and yet the pain of her body and dignity had been reduced to the creature writhing on the stone bench by the lake.

How much time had passed? Hermione ignored it. She could not get up. Moving cost her immense pain. Yet she had been hanging there since the Slytherin's abandoned her. Almost in tow, and after much searching, found her wand and healed her wounds, dressed and limped back to the castle. The lights were off: everyone slept. She hid under the disillusionment charm, taking the task of returning to her room at a slow pace.

It took her a long time to reach Head boy and girl's common room and, after giving the password to the portrait that closed the entrance, she walked in silently.

When she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, she heard strange noises coming from Harry's room. Hermione stopped to listen carefully.

As if a cold iron hand crumpled her heart, Hermione gasped when she could define the sounds that were getting louder: praying to the night and the moon ...moans of pleasure and joy ... screams rose from the voice of Cho Chang. Harry's name ...

Feeling's about to break, she hurried up to reach the safety of her room as quiet as possible, covering her mouth with one hand choking sobs of sadness. When Hermione entered, the first thing she did was silence the entire room and was already crying while walking into her private bathroom, filled the tub, took off her dirty clothes and threw them firelight.

She plunged into the hot water in the tub and there, crying, let out all she had in her since the death of his parents. Hermione shouted, screamed, and moaned. The pain, helplessness, and loneliness captured and wrapped her like a vivid nightmare. Something in her had broken and there was no way to fix it.

- TO BE CONTINUED -

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A/N: Please, leave a review so as to know what do you think of this story so far. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Again, I want to thank Alex for her invaluable help! Without her, I wouldn't be able to post this fic. Please, read and review!

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Chapter 2.

Hermione awoke still in the tub, her body submerged in water. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying and bouts of nausea; she hadn't had any meal for almost 24 hours. She came out of the tub and carefully dried her battered and sensitive body recalling the awful last day still fresh in her mind. When she returned to her room saw that it was morning and, being that it was Sunday, put on her nightgown and climbed under the warm blankets of her bed where Hermione continued crying until sleep claimed out for some rest.

Hermione did not come out even to eat. She was so disgusted that she would not eat anything. It was not until Monday morning that left her shelter and went straight to the classroom once Hermione managed to change her appearance enough to not notice that she had spent many hours crying.

She already expected it but was still hurtful to see that no one asked where she had been the day and a half that nobody saw her. They hardly said 'good morning' and it was a couple of Ravenclaws. Probably the only one who noticed that Hermione was upset was McGonagall, who saw that the girl was pale as wax, and when the professor asked her if she was okay, Hermione feigned a smile and said she had been studying for exams due that day. McGonagall did not say anything but smiled proudly.

That same day, at dinner, turned a little to see the Slytherin table. Malfoy could be seen there, who seemed to be waiting to cross stares with her. The blonde did some facial movement but the look in his gray eyes to Hermione's brown sent her mind spiraling with the latent threat to make it very clear: talk and Potter will pay.

The eye contact lasted moments but to Hermione it was eternal. She looked at her plate, which she barely touched, and pushed it, took a sip of her glass of pumpkin juice, a piece of bread and, without a word, she retired to the safety of her room. As soon Hermione left the great hall, she walked as fast as she could to reach the head's common room. Sadly she noticed that nobody saw her leave or called to her, but felt more at ease when she realized that no one was following her.

Since then, she stopped being herself. Stopped studying, eating and sleeping. Hermione cried every time she went back into her room. She did not spend time in the library like before and, if she could at all, avoided patrolling the corridors.

At present her NEWT's were a complete failure. Examiners shook their heads negatively seeing as no spell, transformation, curse or anything that could be done with the wand, was done. The written test was almost as disastrous as the practical and every time she finished a test, ran to her room without even waiting for her friends.

Nevertheless, when Harry and Ron ran to her for help, Hermione never denied them. When they studied it was in the Head's common room and she tried to appear as iron woman by teaching theories and principles even when inside she was crumbling. She wouldn't allow herself to be touched. Hermione always managed to sit alone at the back of every class and stepped aside to let it all pass and more widely to walk behind the procession of students going in and out of the classroom, or in hallways and corridors, or in the large Gryffindor table ... but not once Malfoy and his friends cared about her much. In fact they only insulted and mocked her as usual, as if that horrible Saturday never happened.

Unfortunately, Hermione's discomfort was not only emotional, but also physical. She had noticed that her magic wasn't the same since the attack in the forest, but now she couldn't avoid having a constant pain in the lower abdomen and a lot of dizziness.

Days before, Hermione began vomiting what little she ate; no food remained more than an hour. One day, weakened, Hermione barely arrived in time to lock herself in her room and her vision blurred and blackened. When she opened her eyes, she was lying on the floor and realized that she had fainted...

Hermione ran to the library to find the book she desperately needed, almost fearing the worst but tried to calm herself because what she was feeling could have dozens of explanations, once the right book was in her hands, she returned to her room. She started reading until she found what was looking for, the faster she could discount her suspicions the better and, with a flourish of her wand on her belly said: 'revelio', but nothing happened. The book showed two reactions to the spell, but the wand did not work. Hermione spent a long time until after a lot of concentration, it worked. A small light surrounded her belly and instantly turned blue. She denied the results telling herself that her magic failed, but each time she repeated the same movement, the same incantation, the spell was saying the same thing: she was pregnant.

Hermione went blank. For the first time she didn't know what to do or say, didn't know how to react or think, it was as if her brain had stopped functioning completely.

That night she'd spent in silence. The next morning she, along with the rest of the inmates, would go out of Hogwarts on the train and go straight to the Burrow, where Arthur and Molly Weasley offered her to live when her parents died.

She, Hermione, was more than undone. Not only had no money and no job, but also had been raped and the product of this was that she was pregnant. She fleetingly thought of an abortion and almost as fast discarded the idea but she could not ignore the kind of life that of creature was uncertain. It was just that she hadn't any money or if there was inheritance from their parents. Everything, absolutely everything, documents, money, clothes, home... She lost everything in the fire. There weren't any grandparents or uncles or cousins. The only family she had ever known was the grandmother of her mother and the lady had died before Hermione knew she was a witch.

She did not want anyone to know, but she needed someone's advice.

Then Hermione thought no one was more suited but Arthur and Molly Weasley. She planned to express how she was with child: a boy, with whom she thought it would be easy, approached her and got carried away but Hermione did not want them to know who it was because the guy did not even know she was pregnant ... or at least that's what more or less was the plan. Hermione wanted advice, warning she didn't want anyone to know, especially Harry and Ron but it was hard to keep it secret when there was no way to hide it.

Already in the train, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Luna, Ginny, Neville and Cho (who insisted on spending time on the train with Harry and he seemed more than happy), took possession of a compartment. Of course, Cho was not alone. Her friend Marietta Edgecomb was on the train with her and both girls were talking. Hermione had a bad feeling but said nothing.

Marietta and Cho left the compartment with the promise of returning soon. Those girls looked suspicious but Hermione said to herself it was her imagination.

Slowly, Hermione felt bad, either by pregnancy or at stifling compartment and paled feeling nauseous again.

"Where are you going, Hermione?" Neville asked absently.

"Bathroom. Be right back" Hermione replied. She realized that no one besides Neville noticed she was leaving.

Walking back to her compartment - weak and sleepy - Hermione walked by a compartment where she saw Cho and Marietta alone. Something made her stop and get close unseeingly to know why they're whispering furiously... and her world went black.

The next thing she remembered was that she was standing inside the compartment pointing her wand at Cho's side, a smoking hole where she had just done and Marietta Edgecomb glued to the window, the three girls trembling. Cho had a hand covering her own face, and when removed, there was a bleeding lip.

"Bitch! You almost killed her!" Marietta shouted in horror. "How dare you!" and the girl ran to Cho's trembling form.

Many people surrounded the entrance and pushing, Harry saw the scene before him.

"What happened?" Exclaimed Harry at seeing Cho's state and ran to her.

Quickly the other spectators were removed from there and were replaced by Ron, Neville, Ginny and Luna.

"She ... she ... tried to kill me" Cho said with a trembling hand pointing to Hermione who in her right hand was her wand. The brunette opened her eyes and frowned in total incomprehension. Harry turned to see Hermione, who did not believe what she heard.

"That... that's not true, Harry!"

"Of course you did! I saw you!" Marietta alleged heatedly.

"No! I would never kill anyone!"

"Come on, Granger. I've seen who you are and what you feel. You wanted to kill her to stay with Harry!"

"That's not true!" Now Hermione was scared. She could deny the attempt to kill Cho, but not what she had for the green-eyed boy. Harry, indignant and angry, stood up and the look in his face had only contempt and hatred for his best friend. He walked toward her and pulled his wand decidedly.

Whatever it was that Harry was going to do, couldn't be because Ron stopped him, "No! Wait, Harry. Maybe Cho and Marietta are mistaken."

"Are you calling us liars?" Cho exclaimed indignantly.

"No, but I can't believe that Hermione tried to kill someone, let alone you. She knows that in doing so would make Harry miserable ... Hermione," Ron turned to her and held out a hand, "Give me your wand. I will show them that you wouldn't do such a thing."

Hermione, not least bit afraid of checking her wand, gave it to Ron without hesitation. Ron pulled his own and cried putting both wands in front of Harry and the other saying 'Prior Incantato'. Hermione's wand expelled a dense green smoke. Hermione gasped in shock and horror as she opened wide her eyes. The expressions of the others were identical to hers except Marietta, Cho and Harry; Hermione had used the killing curse. The green-eyed boy seemed to be out of his mind and if it were not for Ron who stopped him and took his wand, Hermione would have been beaten or killed.

"How could you, Hermione? How?" Harry shouted beside himself.

"Please calm down, Harry. It did nothing to Cho, she's fine, see?" Ron's voice broke. Hermione was impressed as everyone else by this discovery. "We can ... we'll talk it out, see wha-"

"NO!" Harry shouted, interrupting Ron and was almost ready to pounce again on Hermione, who hit her body against the wall of the compartment. The horror and pain of the girl left her motionless, shaking her head denying she would have been capable of that. "She will try again ... she hates her ... she hated her from the beginning!"

"That's not true, I never -"

"SHUT UP!" Harry shouted "right now or I will make you regret-"

"Harry, calm do-"

"I will not calm down!"

"Harry, I-I swear I don't know-"

"I told you to shut up!" Harry screamed again.

"She's our friend, Harry," said Neville not sure it was true what he had said. But the green-eyed boy looked into his eyes in irritation.

"Would she still be your friend if she had tried to kill Ginny?"

Neville opened and closed his mouth trying to argue but couldn't.

"Why, Hermione?" Ron's face was deeply disappointed and embarrassed.

"I don't ... I ... I did not..."

"Hermione, your wand said it all," this time it was Ginny's voice of sadness while Luna looked at her with pity and sorrow.

"But I didn't ... you have to believe me!"

"Accio Hermione's trunk!" Harry exclaimed when he took his wand from Ron and hoisted it in the air and, seconds later, the trunk slowly came to them floating and stood alone on the floor at Hermione's feet. "I would've never believed it from you, Hermione," Harry said in a controlled voice, but his face was full of anger and disbelief and his green eyes stared at the brunette with disgust. "I don't want you to come closer to us anymore. No one. If I see you around, I give you my word that I will capture you and take you personally to the Ministry of Magic to lock you in Azkaban for life!" Every soul inside that compartment looked stunned by Harry's threat and Hermione was already spilling a few tears, but Harry remained unmoved. He looked straight into her honey eyes as threatening as Malfoy's. "Years of friendship have been nothing, Hermione. Just because you've been a great help I'll let you go. Leave. I never want to see you, ever. Do not get close to my friends let alone Cho or me ... leave before I change my mind"

Hermione did not understand ... she did not remember the killing curse. With her eyes, she tried to apologize for something she had not done, or at least she couldn't remember ... but her wand revealed a crime...

She didn't know what to think or what to say. She already claimed innocence but it was obvious that no one believed her. Hermione looked into the eyes of each and everyone except Harry, and Neville seemed to want to say something to help. Cho was comforted by her friend, both attentive listening only Harry requirements.

She looked back at the green eyes of the boy she helped despite everything, and Hermione saw it: he hated her and did not want to know more about her existence.

Ron held out her wand again and she took it trembling, put it in her jacket when she saw that not only Harry, but Ron, Ginny, Luna and Neville pulled out theirs , as if the brunette was about to attack. Hermione leaned over and took the handle of her trunk, turned and walked away as fast as she could. It was not until she reached the end of the train, past bins where the rest of the students watched her murmuring and pointing. Hermione just wanted to disappear.

When she finally reached the last compartment of the last car, opened the door and saw it was empty.

She went inside and closed the door and shutters, used a silencing spell and lock. Her hands could no longer sustain the trunk and let go. Scared of herself she crouched by the window, pressing her body to the window as if invisible demons cornered her. Now her whole body trembled with fear and pain. Her mind struggled to remember what had happened but it was as if the latter were a black mark on her memory ... Why did she use such a dark curse? She could feel envy and jealousy, but never the desire to kill. She thought for a moment that, if she really had killed Cho, Harry would've been devastated ... Harry would mourn the loss of his beloved Cho... Harry...Her Harry.

No, Harry was never hers and his reaction only proved what she knew all along. She, Hermione, never existed to him.

But Hermione wouldn't' be able to snatch Harry's happiness for anything, something for which he fought so fiercely. But her wand said otherwise ...How was it possible?

No matter how much she looked in her memories, Hermione thanked the heavens for not killing Cho. She would've never forgiven herself ... but still, the fact that she tried to, made her wonder what she'd be capable of... It seemed that, after all, Harry and Malfoy were right: she wasn't worthy of being close to anyone.

Hermione began to mourn and weep. In her terrible loneliness she found that not only had been marked and isolated, but also her baby ... and now, she had nowhere to go. Disheartened and crying, looked at the window without seeing anything until they finally reached King's Cross. Quiet and silent waited until everyone had left the train for her to leave without the onlookers pointing. When Hermione detected that there was no movement of feet, lifted up the spells and slowly opened the door; empty. She quietly went out and to the platform. There were only about three or four people who were going to the wall to get back among the Muggles.

Hermione got off the train and crossed the wall. All platforms were full of people, and at least for Hermione, they looked at her as if knowing what she'd done ...and what the other's had done to her. At the bottom of the platform she found an empty seat and headed straight there. She sat down and her eyes got lost in the sea of people walking in all directions , again, with a blank expression, with a helpless mind.

Hermione spent several hours there until night fell almost completely silent. It was not until a security guard approached her, when she came out of herself. For a moment she thought the guard would arrest her. Hermione started sweating and unconsciously put a hand on her belly. She was so alarmed and upset, Hermione began to pant and the guard noticed it. "You all right, Miss?"

"Yes, yes ... I'm fine."

"Are you expecting someone?"

"N-no," she stuttered.

"So if you can, please leave. It's a matter of security, do you understand?"

Hermione accepted and rose. Took her trunk and went straight to the information module, walking with unsure steps while trying to think what to do with her life and her baby's.

-TO BE CONTINUED-


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT:** I got a review from a visitor that couldn't understand how, being Hermione the heroin, such a strong, tough woman, couldn't ask for help or how her friends could have possible left her peniless and homeless, how her parents left her with nothing and the magic world gave her the cold shoulder. Here it goes my explanation: first of all, try and put yourself in Hermione's shoes; she lost her parents, her home, Crookshanks and her only comfort was Hogwarts and her "friends". I'm using this bit to justify my writing: through the 7 books, Harry, Ron, and almost everyone in Hogwarts barely endure her know-it-all attitude, even Ginny treated her like shit only to gain Harry's attention. Don't you think these kind of things leave a mark in someone like her when her biggest goal was to be the best student, the best in everything? And what she got? Not even a thanks, not that she looked for it either, but GOD! How many times she risked her life? After the rape, and i don't need to refere solely about Hermione, but in anyone that could experince such an awful episode, have any of you ever wondered what that person has to deal with? It's not like triping on your way home and standing up again with a bruised knee. It affects selfsteem, soul, psyche, selfconfidence; physically, mentally and emotionally you're assaulted with fear and a hollow inside you. It depedends of the person, though. Not everyone reacts the same because a lot of factors are involved. I'm toying with these feelings, testing the charaters resistance, and experimenting with several emotions. I want to make you all feel and think.

Thanks for your suscriptions and your beautiful reviews! I hope I won't dissapoint you all. YOU HAVE MY WORD, I'LL DO MY BEST :D

Again, thanks to **Alex** for her help!

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**Chapter 3.**

It had been almost two months since the incident on the Hogwarts Express ... well, she really couldn't call it "incident" since she tried to kill Cho Chang, but Hermione was already convinced that she really did it. Everything checked. She wanted to believe that she did it in a fit of anger that pushed her to do something so stupid, and yet there was no justification.

Two days after sleeping in alleys, Hermione found herself in a London slum, a cheap flat to rent in a small building with little savings she could get through the years in an account at Gringotts. That was it: a little room with a tiny bathroom with a shower. The room had only a cot and chair at the most. Hermione assumed it would be fine but with her limited budget could not get anything better.

As soon as Hermione applied herself, she looked out for a job and found one being a dishwasher in a two star restaurant, but a week later the manager fired her when Hermione passed out and brought a lot of dishes with her to the floor. Not only she was fired and injured with some cuts, but the manager didn't pay her for the week she'd worked.

Three weeks later found Hermione another job as a waitress in a bar and a customer molested her and Hermione fought back hitting the big drunk guy with a bottle on his head. She'd been barely a week and a half there and the owner pulled her out by the service door.

Yes ... two months had passed, and Hermione could only pay rent for a month. She hardly ate anything. She saw the need to find food on the restaurants dumpsters. She dared not use her wand to clean the bits of food that she could find because on one occasion she exploded apart one of the containers while trying; hence Hermione ran scared before anyone saw her.

She had no money and no one wanted to give her a job. Hermione was afraid that the home keeper would demand a payment for the remaining weeks.

Unfortunately, it happened.

The guy yelled obscenities and pushed her out by the back door of the ruined building. The old bad-tempered man pushed Hermione with force and Hermione fell the two steps off the exit door, and moments later, he launched her trunk at her which she barely dodged, almost hitting her head.

With a bang of the door closing, Hermione was found alone on the floor in the middle of the night, protecting her tiny bump with one hand, stroking it as if trying to reassure her baby that everything would be fine. But Hermione knew it was only an illusion.

For nights on end, Hermione had cried for their problems and sorrows, but gradually found that she had no more tears, and if anything came out, they were peaceful and not accompanied by cries of melancholy.

Despite everything, she never failed that every night, Hermione prayed for Harry and the rest of her friends. That night was no exception. Hermione walked through empty streets and alleys to get away from the city and found a dead end where she huddled under the roof of a back entrance and there, under the light drizzle, closed her eyes and slept in the open.

Hermione slept uncomfortably and hungry, however she felt there was something about her situation that she knew would change. Hermione did not believe in divination, but on intuition.

The next morning, her stomach claimed the lack of food and that woke her. At that moment, the garbage truck came to take the contents of the nearby container and missed the opportunity to see if there was anything to eat or not.

Demoralized, she rose slowly dragging her trunk and walking away. She walked for a couple of hours, not knowing where she was going, until she came upon a dilapidated house that was to be demolished; at least that was what the sign on its entrance door said. When Hermione read the notice, she realized that it would be in two weeks. That was something. At least she had a few days in this place while trying to plan what her next move would be.

After several attempts with her wand, finally could unlock the door and stepped inside the house: it was a big, spacious and was completely empty. Hermione was glad to see that the pipes still worked and took water from a faucet, letting out a breath of relief when her dried mouth was cooled with the liquid, although it was slightly tinged with gray. It was probably built up land lines. She knew it could be dangerous for her and her baby, but the level of dehydration of her system was already critical.

As there was no light, Hermione used magic to light the fire and not warn of her presence to the neighbors of the other properties. Once a comfortable fire crackled, illuminating the room a bit, Hermione darkened the windows closing the dark curtains, sat on her trunk and watched the inside of the chimney burn peacefully.

Since she was alone and had no one to talk to, her words were addressed to her baby.

"Oh, my beautiful baby," Hermione sighed, "I don't know anything anymore. Mom can't keep up. Everything has been so painful... forgive me for dragging you with me, hungry and thirsty. I had thought I could, but I just can't. I even thought of getting rid of you my angel, but I have no money to pay for it and also what's the point? I don't want to live. I miss your grandparents ... if they were alive they would support me. I wish someone could hug me."

Hermione, on an impulse caused by the lack of affection, hugged herself in an attempt to diminish her sorrows, but it didn't work. How come she ended up like this? Where was the tough Hermione? Where it was all her courage and bravery? What happened with her will to live? She realized that her family was her only support, her only pillar, because if not, how could she explain this broken girl? What she suspected all along was now her only true: she had no friends, especially now after what she supposedly did on the train. They doubt her so fast…

When night fell in London and Hermione looked at the cloudy sky, she smiled a little, like she hadn't before. A resigned, sad smile appeared on her face.

"You know? I think it's time to go, little one. We won't get anything waiting for a miracle. I don't want to be here ... instead, we can make us disappear. I'm afraid to even try. What if it doesn't work? I'm worried about your integrity." Hermione put a hand on her belly tenderly and her voice softened, "I will pray that we will. Tomorrow, when we are well rested, we'll leave from here. We're going to look for some desolate place where we could find peace ... and then use my wand one last time. I have faith ... but first, let's make a little visit. It's ... risky, but I need to. I want to know that everyone is ok and after that, we'll come back here, get rid of the trunk and leave for good. Hopefully we'll find something to Eat on our way."

Resigned and convinced that this decision was the best, she put her coat on the floor, pulled out a used plush lion for a pillow and lying on the hard ground, fell asleep with the thought that soon everything would dissolve... that soon she will no longer feel... that soon all would be well...

With an empty stomach, Hermione awoke the next day and remembered her idea from last night. She smiled to herself and left the house, leaving her trunk inside.

Hermione walked for hours because she did it slowly so as to not get tired too fast. She knew the direction she was going and did not hurry, but mostly, she wanted to find some library or a book store ... and she did. Hermione entered with curiosity until a huge shelf of illustrated books of exotic places. At last, she found a book with a beautiful landscape and the caption under the picture, according to the book, claimed it was a paradise without being touched by human hands. She looked at the picture for as long as she could and recorded it in her memory. That was where Hermione would depart.

As Hermione got closer to her destination, she was getting anxious. What if Harry holds true to his promise? Hermione wanted to go and reassure herself that everyone was well ... she couldn't leave without knowing. She had to risk it.

A small quietness surged from within when she tentatively stroked her belly, where her baby was being protected...

Finally, the brown-eyed girl was before the lawn of Luna's new home. After the destruction of the house in Ottery , her father got this one, as Xenophilius said that had fantastic creatures, an unknown kind between half worm- half nargles possessing unique properties, and only lived in the sewers of that part of London... Or at least that's what Luna said.

Before taking the five steps to the front door, Hermione checked her appearance in the side mirror of a car: she looked really pale and her hair a little dirty and matted, so she fastened it with a rubber band, straightened her dress and her coat in case it rained and well concealed, with both garments, her slight bump couldn't be seen. Once she was satisfied with her semi-groomed appearance, Hermione went to the door and knocked.

As soon as she did, her stomach twisted. Suddenly Harry's threatening words invaded her mind as omens of something that wasn't right, _'If __I see __you near__ us,__ I give you my word that I will capture and take you personally to the Ministry of Magic to lock you in Azkaban for life.'_

For a moment Hermione thought on turning back and leaving, but she had a hard time getting there and, besides, she wanted to make sure everyone was okay. She knew that Luna was benevolent and could be trusted; that she wouldn't betray her. And even if she did try, it wouldn't matter because Hermione was about to go far away and never return.

So, she called to the door again and, moments later, heard the bolt and the door opened just a bit. Luna poked her face and Hermione didn't know what to think: the blonde girl blinked a few times but did not smile, nor frightened ... She rather seemed slightly surprised.

"Hello" Hermione greeted in the calmest tone her nerves would allow.

"Hello, Hermione," Luna answered casually. "I thought Harry told you not to come back..." the brown-eyed girl looked down with remorse."But I'm glad to see you. How are you?" Before that last sentence, Hermione did not feel so demoralized. What she noticed was that Luna remained where she was; not entirely out neither completely in.

"I'm fine ... Thank you."

"You don't look fine to me," her voice skeptical.

"I was a bit sick," Hermione lied.

"I hope you haven't been bitten by Nargles..." Luna studied her appearance and continued "They have tendencies to bite and-"

"No, it wasn't that," interrupted Hermione. "How is everyone? How are Harry and Ron?"

"Ah!" she said like she knew it was what she was going to ask all along. "They are very well," Luna said enthusiastically. "Harry had a great birthday party. He said that we should invite someone and I was looking for you, but no one could tell me where you lived. When I told Ron to help me find you ...Well, he said that it wasn't a good idea"

Hermione had a slight smile hovering when Luna said they were fine, but her features changed when she heard the rest. Hermione thought it was kind of the blonde girl's part for thinking of her.

"Never mind," answered Hermione. "It's fine. I think Ron was right."

"But the party was fantastic!" Luna replied with a tone of mild indignation, "You shouldn't have missed it. The best party in decades ...especially after what Harry did."

"What Harry did?" Hermione repeated.

"Yes, he wanted us all there. He proposed to Cho Chang and she accepted!" she said with a girlish squeal. "It was great! I think the twins helped because the whole place lit up with magical fire that fell into stars and roses... I've never seen anything like it!"

It was as if Hermione's heart had been thrown into the fire. In her mind she pictured the image of her beloved Harry, kneeling before Cho's figure showing a beautiful engagement ring. The pain in her whole being was inexplicably stabbing every nerve ending...there was nothing else she wanted but Harry's happiness; but that didn't mean she wouldn't feel the immense agony that was now consuming her. Although now Hermione was completely unhappy, she felt a certain kind of happiness for him. Finally one day he would have what was taken from him: family and love. Then she knew she was doing the right thing ...it really was time to go.

"I'm glad," Hermione said honestly. "I wish them a lifetime of happiness," the tears were screaming for release, although silently. Luna sighed and looked straight into her eyes. "Really, I'm glad."

"You sure you're okay, Hermione?" Luna looked her up and down "You turned even paler. Have you eaten? I have some delicious blueberry muffins..." Luna opened the door completely. "Come, come. You look exhausted."

"No, no!" Hermione replied visibly alarmed. "I just ...I came to say hello and ask how you all were. I have to go now."

"First tell me where you live. So I could visit."

"No, I can't, sorry!" Hermione's voice was hesitant but her words did not betray her feelings despite the fear that was growing by the minute, "I'm going to leave the country."

"Then give me your new address."

"Sorry, I can't, but thanks for your concern. I just want to ask you two favors." Replied Hermione hesitatingly.

Luna looked at Hermione's face, as if doubting on whether to accept or not. "All right."

"First, don't tell anyone that I came to see you. It could bring problems to you and me. I just wanted to make sure everyone was all right before I leave. I promise I won't come back, _ever_." At this, Luna seemed to think for a moment, but agreed, "And second, I beg you to take care of everyone, _especially_ Harry. Make sure he's happy ...that no one will hurt him ...I'm not going to be here and I want to leave knowing there's going to be someone who will procure his safety. I know that in the end, what I did, it was a total mistake and... well, I just want you to take care of him. Will you?"

Hermione didn't know why that specific concern suddenly invaded her. It was just that her heart yelled at her with fear but she ignored what it was. A premonition perhaps... or was that just her paranoia was reflecting what her heart really desired.

Luna looked at her questioningly. It seemed strange that suddenly Hermione was so alarmed and a suspicion grew in her mind. However, the blonde girl could not refuse such a request. Hermione asked it with her heart, and her honey eyes were reflecting several emotions at once, but Luna noticed that the dominant one was fear. "You have my word, Hermione."

The brunette let out a breath she didn't know was holding and it made her heart's rate slow.

What happened at that moment, Luna nor Hermione knew. The brunette extended her hand to the blonde girl smiling with total satisfaction to their agreement. Luna took Hermione's hand without taking her eyes from each other: the connection made through eye contact and physical made Luna shake like a raging, violent storm; blurred images with undefined figures crossed her mind's eye; a barrage of emotions hit her with brutal cruelty: all that came from Hermione . Pain, misery, sadness, fear, terror...and something like a small glimmer of hope, a promise of happiness, as if something wonderful was going to happen to Hermione, a secret that enveloped her in an unknown happiness, then ... nothing.

That only lasted a moment, but for Luna was overwhelmed. She felt an immense desire to cry, but she didn't. The blonde's blue eyes widened at the magnitude of what happened moments ago, but whatever it was, Hermione didn't seem to notice.

The brunette smiled resignedly ... To Luna it seemed that not only was something wrong, but rather, _everything_ was wrong.

"Well, I'll get going" Hermione said turning around and descending the steps down to the sidewalk. "Thanks, Luna. Goodbye," she said with a certain finality.

"No, wait!" the blonde shouted but Hermione pulled out her wand instantly. She hadn't pointed to the girl, but the wand extended at the street and in three seconds, the Knight Bus arrived. "No Wait, Hermione!"

But Hermione boarded the bus and, before Luna touched the curb, the vehicle flew off down the street, turned around the next corner and out of sight.

Luna stood there, watching the road where the bus had been and fear began to invade her insides viciously. Something inside her screamed danger, but did not know what danger was, or where, why or to what ... or to more specifically whom.

The blonde girl saw that, despite the great risk, Hermione dared to return and found if everyone was right ... to ask her to take care of Harry.

She was going to get to the bottom of it and decided then that she had to make a visit to number 12 of Grimmauld Place.

**- TO BE CONTINUED -**

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Thanks for taking your time reading this fic. Please, leave a review! :D


	4. Chapter 4

I won't say anything else, but I know this is going to be hard. I repeat: you're warned. Thanks for taking your time. Please, read and review.

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Chapter 4.

**Play Numb-Linkin Park**

Hermione did not breathe until the Knight Bus arrived outside of 'The Leaky Cauldron'. She had assumed that she would need some knuts for an emergency after Harry's threat, so she had just the right amount to make her quick getaway in case he were there.

Hermione stood there a moment out in the street, trying to get her heart rate to stop beating furiously against her chest and looked up at the sky to see that it had turned to a reddish color. She still had to walk a long way to return to her abandoned shelter and the sky was making her nervous. She inhaled and exhaled several times, and calmly walked away from there, leaving the Leaky Cauldron behind.

The walk helped her relax a lot, but also to think about everything that Luna had told her. She came to the conclusion that she, Hermione Granger, was making the right decision: go away and let the life cycle commence. Now she could do it without looking back. If there was an association for women in her situation, she neither knew, nor wanted no part in it. She didn't want to be a statistic, be another number in a long list of young women just out of school who got pregnant. Hermione didn't want to be seen or assisted, she wanted to go into obscurity. She didn't want or need anyone to help her, she could do this, or so she was trying to convince herself. If she repeated it enough times, she could _almost_ believe it.

After two hours of walking, Hermione finally arrived at the abandoned house, the one she found the previous night. As she had already removed the door lock, she hadn't had the need to take out her wand.

With a deep sigh, she sat in front of the purple flames of the fireplace, covering the inside of the house with a creepy light. Again, her mind wandered to distant memories at Hogwarts, but especially Harry. The weight of knowing he was engaged ate her mind, but she just smiled to herself, finally convinced that things were getting onto their natural order.

Suddenly, she felt the space around her condensed into something she hadn't felt in months. Hermione could feel presences in the same place as her, but could not hear anything out of the ordinary. Startled, she started turning around and looked; five figures barely visible were standing where she had entered. Hermione didn't know who they could be, but then she was horror struck when one of the figures proved true when he spoke. "Long time no see, Mudblood."

The cold voice of Draco Malfoy echoed and pierced her soul like a shard of ice.

"What do... what are you doing here?" Hermione asked scared "How did-"

"We followed you," replied Zabini indifferently. "Nott saw you getting out of the Knight Bus from the Leaky Cauldron and followed you. We didn't know you were now homeless ... the great prefect and Head Girl of Hogwarts." The others laughed at the insidious mockery.

Malfoy started walking towards her until the firelight lit his face: the shadows made his smirk look even more sinister and suddenly brought the memory of _that_ Saturday ... Hermione's breathing became agitated and she hated herself for letting herself fear them.

"Why are you following me?" she asked her voice small and scared.

"Well ... I thought we could have some fun, don't you think?" Malfoy suggested as though having a simple conversation with an old friend. "We wanted to ensure that everything was fine. You know? You've been a good girl by not unleashing your tongue, but that's not enough!"

"What do you want?" Hermione asked stepping back.

"What can you offer?"

"I have nothing."

"I don't think so." With two long strides, Malfoy approached Hermione and threw her against the wall behind her, making her head banged against the hard concrete. The girl, even though her vision blurred for a moment, pulled her wand out from her pocket's coat but Malfoy's, with his hand, snatched it from hers and slapped her with it. The blond pressed his body against hers, grabbed Hermione's face with one hand and with the other stroked her body viciously from her neck sliding down, "we can still have some fun. There are things I still want to do -" Malfoy paused as his hand touched her belly and felt the small bump hiding under her clothing. "What is this? Are you fat?"

"N-no, don't ... please." Hermione's voice cracked with fear thinking they may be there to hurt her.

Malfoy pushed her belly with his hand and the girl let out a cry of pain. "You live like homeless ... but, you're getting fat? ... wait-" Malfoy's eyes widened in surprise, "You're with child!"

From the mouths of the other boys came sounds of surprise as Malfoy's face was contorted into a mixture of fun, surprise and nausea.

"Please ... no, don't hurt us!" begged Hermione in a whisper, but this seemed to make Malfoy furious and he slapped her again. One hand gripped the girl's hair and he threw her to the floor where Hermione could barely put her hands to protect her belly and not make contact with the hard, cold floor.

"I'm under the impression that you liked the experience of that day ... so you kept a "souvenir". Sorry to say that you can't keep it!" Malfoy's cold voice reached her with a latent menace. The girl looked up from the ground with her honey eyes begging for mercy. "So you had such a good time that you didn't want to get rid of that thing?"

"I'm not a killer."

"Oh, but you tried! ... I found out what you did on the train ... that's why you had to go. That's why you became homeless... anyway, this creature shouldn't even be born."

"What?!" Hermione muttered furiously. Malfoy, with a single motion of his hand, beckoned for Crabbe and Goyle to approach the girl, knelt beside her and took off forcefully her coat and threw it without looking where it fell. Hermione struggled against them and tried to stop their attempt to undress her but it was useless. The two beasts held both of her arms as Malfoy slowly undressed in front of her.

"You don't think I'd allow you to let that ... thing be born. It would be an abomination coming from you. There is no society in this world that would accept what will surely be an abnormal creature. A disgusting thing -perhaps neither wizard nor muggle but a squib... the son of a Mudblood."

"No, no... please don't," the urgent tone of Hermione's tremulous cries was accompanied by kicks against her captors until one of them punched her right eye to stop her frantic movements, while the other unbuttoned her dress and took it off, not wasting the opportunity to touch her with their filthy rough hands.

"But before, we'll have a little fun." By now Malfoy was almost naked except for his boxers. He opened her legs roughly and, lying over her, crushed her belly regardless, lay down on it. With one hand ripped off Hermione's panties and pulled down his boxers with his other hand. Again, Malfoy penetrated her and the girl screamed in pain at the force of the stroke. Upon hearing this, Zabini raised his voice to cast a silencing charm to the house that, for a fleeting moment, lit. He and Nott came to see the action, all watching the scene with psychotic faces.

"Now you're tastier!" Malfoy moaned in Hermione's ear and began to move slowly. "It seems that after all, pregnancy suits you."

Hermione cried; Malfoy's words sounded revolting and his movements only inflicted pain. Again he repeated that awful Saturday, but now her terror was twofold. In many of her nightmares, again and again, she looked down on herself being attacked by them repeatedly... but she always woke up when she heard her own cries. Not now. Now she was awake, and knew that this time would be worse than her own nightmares.

Abused again, possessed and used as if she were their plaything. She noted in the blonde's gray eyes the great pleasure he was inflicting, and Hermione couldn't help but scream, moan, cry and mourn in pain as Draco's hands and mouth took possession of whatever he could reach: neck, breast, nipples, thighs...

Then, the blonde increased the pace. Now he penetrated her faster and harder as he moaned rejoiced ... until he came inside her.

For a long time, everyone took turns with her, sometimes wildly; sometimes a little slow for Hermione to feel them invade her. And when she thought they were done, Malfoy and Zabini held her violently... both penetrated her at the same time and Hermione could feel her anus torn. When she yelled out, Malfoy slapped her again, while others shouted in chorus, as if this were a competition.

It was obvious that she'd cry. Everything about her was crumbling, including her own sore body. The only thing crossing on her mind was a prayer to the heavens for this to end soon... she thought of her baby ... and that maybe it'd be better they dispose of her...she didn't care anymore.

Malfoy and Zabini came inside her and let her body fall on the floor. A terrible burning at both holes and a warm thread of blood dripping between her thighs was all she could feel while crying.

Then, an even stronger pain ran through her, like a hundred knives entering burning flesh... Malfoy threw the Cruciatus curse at her with all the vehemence possible, and Hermione shouted with all her might. Again and again, the blonde tortured the girl for long minutes while the other four looked a little scared now.

"Wait," Zabini stopped Malfoy when the blond was about to start the torture again. "I think you're going too far. At this rate you're going to kill her."

"I didn't think you cared," Malfoy said with disdain.

"Not at all. I just don't want to be accused of murderer," he said with trepidation.

Hermione strained to listen to their interaction from the ground, where she was writhing in pain with both hands covering her belly. When she looked up, with her left eye, because the right one was closed from the punch, she could see Malfoy's face in complete absence ... until he conjured a whip.

With that, Malfoy raised his whip and before he could throw the blow, Hermione turned face down making the thick leather strap struck her back. She screamed as she felt her flesh open and blood began to drip down her back... and again felt the scourge ... over and over again. Malfoy hit her with all his force, slashing her skin and flesh, every wound screaming at her, piercing screams escaping her dried throat.

After several times of doing this, Zabini interrupted. "Stop it, Malfoy! That's enough!" he held Malfoy's arm before the blonde could strike again.

Hermione was still staring at the floor while listening various someone's struggle. She couldn't move, but her body was shaking violently. "You're right," gasped Malfoy, "We've had enough fun. The spawn should be dead by now, she's bleeding a lot." Hermione felt the presence of the blonde close to her and turned her head to see it. Malfoy bent over, looked at her with pity and contempt. "You just don't know how much I enjoyed this. All the humiliation you and Potter gave me, the death of my parents… everything has been avenged," he whispered with hatred, smiling like a psycho. "Don't forget it, Mudblood: You're worthless." And the blond spat on her face, stood up and disapparating sounds were heard.

Hermione's vision gradually clouded as she felt her back and legs bleed. She felt agony. She felt powerless to do anything. It was true that she wanted to die ... now more than ever, but Hermione hated knowing that she would die in such a humiliating way. She had to surrender at the exhaustion and weakness of her body. She didn't want to die in that place, not in that way; probably someone would find her body and she'd be the subject of the media and everyone will find out about her humiliation ... everyone would feel sorry for her.

"Mom... Dad ..." Hermione prayed to the ether, as if their spirits could hear her, maybe even imagining they could be there at her side. She lay down sideways on the floor and with her good eye and looked around: her things were gone, all she could see was the dress and shoes she wore lying on the ground. Her body swayed, her nerves had stopped working properly. Hermione let everything that happened, every loss, every disturbed emotion collapse on her. Helplessly, Hermione fell into consciousness.

Hermione woke up hours later with pain and burning in her body, each wound was a stab of her nerve endings, a new wave of suffering.

At once she remembered what had happened and her body began to shake, now with anger, sadness and weakness. Her right eye would not open due to swelling, but with her left she could see that there was no fire in the fireplace and darkness of the windows faded. The sun peeked through the glass, but Hermione could not imagine how long she was on the floor unconscious. To her, it was a miracle she hadn't died.

Hermione took advantage that she was still alive and, with difficulty, on all fours, moved through the room, looking for whatever she could find of her belongings. She realized that in the fireplace was what she had. Some things like the handle of her trunk, a burned book cover and pieces of her stuffed lion, remained inert on the mountain of ashes.

Still naked, grabbed her dress and staggering stood up and leaned cautiously, trying not to lean her back on the wall, walked slowly to the bathroom and soaked her dress on the tub. She had to make several trips from the hall to the bathroom and back. Her dress wet with the dirty water from the shower and returned to clean the blood and semen spread on the floor, while her own blood was still dripping, leaving a trail of droplets.

After she considered that the place was decent enough, returned to the bathroom and she let herself soak with icy water and gladly accepted it. The cold fluid could hardly calm the ardor of the heavy wounds. Right there Hermione washed her dress, closed the faucets, put on the dampened dress and her shoes.

She could move no more. Hermione sat on the floor in front of the fireplace when the cold from moisture of her hair, her dress, her body started penetrating her skin making her shiver. Panting from exhaustion she leaned back against the floor as the darkness fell.

"You know I love you, don't you, baby?" Hermione whispered, putting a hand on her belly. "Please forgive me... but I have to do this. I have no wand but I'll still try. You will see that everything will be alright ... I promise." Hermione closed her eyes, inhaled and exhaled slowly several times and apparated away from there.

* * *

After Hermione's visit, Luna decided to talk to Harry. She didn't tell him that the brunette had come to her, but didn't know what to say with what had happened.

When Luna arrived at Grimmauld Place she knew the truth ... a truth which cleared doubts from her mind. This most outrageous truth, which made her sick to her stomach thinking about it, caused her to seek the one person who is most concerned.

Harry wasn't at home, but there were two people, one of them lived with the green-eyed boy, and Luna heard purely by accident...

Unfortunately it was getting dark and she had to plan everything precisely, leaving aside her whimsical air and replacing it with seriousness. Luna returned home and contacted the necessary people for the job ... the next day the bomb would explode and Luna expected it to be on time. She was determined to do everything that was needed. Only she could do it.

Very early the next day, Luna used the flu network to contact Ron, who was alerted when Luna started interrogating him like a criminal. The blonde thought it wasn't time to say anything yet, but she asked the redhead to trust her and do what she had asked, swearing that it was for Harry's sake.

Thus, at two in the afternoon, the plan went into action.

At Ron's request, Harry removed the alarms on Grimmauld Place; when Harry asked why, Ron lied saying that it's to surprise Cho with a gift that Ron and Luna had made for her. The green-eyed boy accepted.

Both Harry and Ron were going to get in the house when Luna took off the invisibility cloak in front of them. The redhead noticed that his girlfriend had a bottle in her left hand.

"What the hell-"

"We haven't time for that," Luna interrupted Harry, who wanted to know how she had his cloak. "But before… Harry, I want you to drink this."

"What is this?" the green-eyed boy looked suspiciously at the offered bottle.

"It is an energy potion," she said in what she hoped was a trusting tone.

"Why do I need it for?"

"Trust me ... I assure you it doesn't taste bad!" added Luna when Harry exchanged looks of surprise with Ron, and since the redhead trusted her blindly, the boy accepted the bottle and drank a liquid that tasted like peppermint, eucalyptus and a hint of cloves ... and something else, but Harry didn't know what it was. Slowly, the boy felt as if waking from a long sleep, a slumber where he remained convalescent. "Follow me," Luna said and covered the three of them with Harry's invisibility cloak. "Whatever happens, don't make any noise until I tell you to; is that clear?" her voice conveying the seriousness of the matter.

The boys accepted in silence and, in the same way, entered the house. Luna led them to the hall from the kitchen and, without entering; they could hear two voices that reached their ears easily because the door was wide open.

"... and this... three large white pearls!" and they heard something falling on a liquid, then it sounded as if someone was stirring its contents once, then twice. It was Cho's voice, "Now, it's ready! You'll see how, from now on, I will not have to worry, Marietta."

"I tell you it's not right, Cho. I've always supported you, but this ... Have you ever thought that maybe the potion can leave Harry crazy? What if they find out when we take him to St. Mungo's? I believe –"

"Enough, Marietta! You're getting scared for nothing!" The relaxed tone of the Asian girl made her friend anxious. "I tripled the concentration but he's not going to die ...I will not be a widow before marrying. I need him to go crazy for me."

"And if he really gets mad? Think about it, Cho."

"Bah! He won't. He is a strong, tough guy. Not for nothing beat you-know-who."

For the moment, Harry felt as though a fog that covered his mind and senses dissipated and cleared him with an involuntarily chill running down his spine.

"But it's a forbidden potion. Amortentia with such a degree of concentration can have serious consequences; no one has gone so far. The dose you gave him after the battle when you attended him was small and effective." It seemed that Marietta's fear went beyond morality because they heard the footsteps of the girl go back and forth like a caged lion. "And the train... you already got rid of Granger, there is no threat. She won't return. I don't see why you have to continue poisoning Harry."

"I have to make sure!" Cho said. In her voice, Harry, Ron and Luna distinguished stress. "I can't risk it ... however, you thought very fast when we were on the train. If the stupid Mudblood had not heard our plan, and you hadn't acted fast ... Well, it was lucky you thought of modifying her memory. You know? It hurt the blow you gave me, though... I even bled! But it was worth. I barely had time to do the killing curse with Granger's wand before she could react."

"I shouldn't have listened to you."

"You're my friend, Marietta. That's what friends do," Cho insisted.

"But pretending that Granger tried to kill you and help you make Harry Potter insanely in love with you is not being friends: that's being an accomplice!" yelled Marietta.

What Harry, Ron and Luna heard left them speechless. Still hidden beneath the cloak, they slipped silently into the kitchen and saw Cho and Marietta facing each other, both flushed from the discussion. A cauldron on the stove was boiling like crazy.

"Shut up! What if Harry comes before everything is cleared and hears us?"

"You said that he's long gone and won't come back until six," Marietta said hesitantly.

"Wrong. I ORDERED HIM to return at six. Silly boy..." Cho chuckled and that was what made Harry's blood boil like the contents of the cauldron. Luna pulled off the cloak and she, Harry and Ron pointed at the girls with their wands.

"No, YOU are wrong." Harry's voice was so cold it would freeze the whole kitchen. Ron was red with rage and Luna, as her boyfriend and the green-eyed boy, looked at them with repulsion.

Cho and Marietta let out a cry of surprise and the color drained from their faces.

"No ... it's not what you think, Harry dear," Cho said in a falsely sweet voice.

"Don't even try to justify yourself, Cho. I heard it all ... but right now I will make you regret every single thing you did. I'm taking you both to the Ministry of Magic and pay for everything you've done."

"No need, Harry." They all heard the voice of Kingsley Shackelbolt, current Minister of Magic and before everyone's eyes, the Disillusionment charm dissipated... and beside him, Tonks and Remus appeared, the three of them pointing their wands at the two girls.

"We heard it all and," Tonks said in her other hand lifting a sphere like the ones in the department of mysteries. "In addition we recorded everything," a smirk on her face.

"But how...?" Ron turned to look at Luna, but the blonde looked in disgust at Cho and Marietta.

"I told them to come. I didn't tell them why, only where and when. I told them it was about Harry's safety."

"Well, ladies," ordered Kingsley with his authoritative tone, "Right now you are under arrest and will be brought to trial for perjury and attempt of murder."

"Perjury?" asked Marietta her voice shaking with fear.

"Attempt of murder?" asked Cho. Both girls trembled from head to foot.

"Perjury by implanting false evidence to incriminate Hermione Granger for something she didn't do, and illegal use of an unforgivable curse," said Tonks pausing "...and attempted murder against Harry James Potter. The substance is not only prohibited, but also used in a quantity and a concentration that was used in dangerous excess."

"You're a disgrace to the house of Ravenclaw, Cho Chang!" Luna's words were like poison. "I knew that something wasn't right ... but I never thought you were capable of something so low, so mean ... and still you made a mistake. Not only underestimating Harry, but Hermione too. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have come yesterday and heard what you were doing-"

"You!" Cho growled and Tonks muttered a spell tying Cho's and Marietta's wrists together with magical wristbands so they could not disappear and then proceeded to remove their wands.

"Accio ring!" Harry yelled, and the ring on Cho's left hand finger flew to him. "I have no adjectives to name you, Cho. But pray that Hermione forgives you because I won't. What you did doesn't have a name. You can receive the dementor's kiss for all I care. You're not worth a Knut in half."

"But I love you, Harry!"

Before Harry could reply anything, Luna wordlessly, in three strides, approached Cho and punched her in the nose and with a painful 'crack' heard all around when the bone broke. The Asian girl hit the ground with howls of agony and Luna rubbed the knuckles of her left hand, turned to look at Harry who, like others, looked shocked. "What?" Luna asked innocently, "You can't hit a girl because you're a gentleman ... but I'm no gentleman," and she gave him a look of amusement. Tonks and Remus smiled with satisfaction and with the help of Kingsley, everyone went to the Ministry of Magic via floo.

In one of the Aurors cubicle, they were all giving their statement while a couple of healers were called to check on Harry, Luna and Cho.

The blonde girl said that Hermione had visited the day before and told her about her concern and explained the experience when they shook hands, as well as what she could hear about the plan of Cho and Marietta talked about when she came as a surprise to Grimmauld Place. Harry slowly became aware of what was experienced during all months since he was in the infirmary at Hogwarts. The potion Luna gave him before getting inside Grimmauld countered the Amortentia's doses that Cho had given so subtly disguised to Harry in each visit.

But reality came and slapped him square on the face: not only had he falsely accused Hermione, but she had left the country and no one knew where to find her. They thought it would be easy to contact her via Hedwig, but didn't know that Hermione's magic was almost zero, due to the blockade that the trauma of being raped caused her, nor knew that now her wand had been reduced to ashes. Just those two things could have leaded the owls, but with the absence of these, they wouldn't find her. The worst thing was that they had no idea of any of it.

To Harry this was the end of his world. His beloved Hermione remained exiled for a dirty trap and wondered if someday she'd forgive them. They doubted her... treated her as if she were a criminal. How could they? Had it not been for the brief visit she paid to Luna, this wouldn't have happened and Harry would be doing company with Neville's parents at St. Mungo's.

Ron and Luna pledged to mobilize people to start searching. Harry then took courage and faith.

He swore he would not rest until he found Hermione.

- TO BE CONTINUED -


	5. Chapter 5

Here it is chapter 5 for you all. Please, I need you to read the author's note at the end, it's very important because it has to do with upcoming chapters. Again, i want to thank to my beautiful beta, Alex, because without her, I'd be lost. Now, read and enjoy :)

* * *

Chapter 5.

**Play In to the West - Annie Lennox**

It's overwhelming the feeling you get when you compare yourself with the vast nature of this beautiful world. You're just a moment in the universe, so fleeting that your presence is hardly noticeable.

No. There is no comparison. The magnitude of the universe, endlessly and sometimes incomprehensible within the limits of the human mind, it makes you feel humble and hopeless... but that doesn't mean you're worthless.

Within this perspective, Hermione opened her eyes and momentarily the only thing she could perceive was a lot of green and freshness in the air.

She had to blink several times before the garish colors that life provides when you are surrounded by pure nature, pure life. Frightened, she put a hand on her belly and felt that her baby was still inside her. She was afraid that apparating in her state could go wrong, but she made sure that every part of her body was in place. As soon as Hermione was certain she was whole, a burning pain in her body returned with full force.

Her dress was nearly completely dry. The blood from her wounds were drying and sticking on the exposed flesh of her back painfully.

She had to lie on her side on the damp ground of the forest in which she apparated into, and as she did, tears of agony from her wounds came with ease.

She was there, so small, so fragile, so hurt. Each and every one of the things and situations that arose since Hermione knew she was a witch came to mind like rain, flooding every corner of her conscience. Each and every one of the things that she could overcome... and nothing, absolutely nothing, had given her genuine satisfaction. She didn't believe that one day she would dream that death would take her -she longed for freedom. She had so many expectations for the future ... now there was nothing.

She was there ... facing a spectacular view and regretted that her baby could not enjoy what her eyes beheld. Hermione was in the middle of a forest not far from New Delhi, too close to Haryana where the natural harmony was palpable but was content to admire: the scenery was worth it. Although her body seemed to feel anything but pain, the air filled her lungs with the freshness and purity, comforted with that idea, no matter that her life was ending here, abandoned and alone, she enjoyed her last hours in tranquility.

Hermione closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her senses were invaded with spicy smell in the air. She always wanted to go to India, and now that she was here she felt a bit better, almost comforted, as if she had gotten a little treat.

Hinduism and its lifestyle was something she wanted to explore since she started sniffing around the books she had at home; she recalled that, like her life, now were just forgotten ashes.

For her, being in India was an ideal choice. Thinking that her last moments in life would end not only surrounded by the pure life, but also serve to purify her soul, her conscience. Giving up and surrendering herself to this place that looked to be touched by God's hands... it'd take her into a state of peaceful rest, to end with dignity, wrapping her spirit and soul in a blanket of eternal comfort, and it worked. Her senses seemed to expand again and she wondered if that would happen, after her death, would she feel like merging, melting with that place, when her soul left the battered body that now seemed to be a terrible burden.

So Hermione did the only thing she thought needed to do to alleviate some of her own weight: she put a hand on her belly and spoke to the only person who would listen to her in a while, her baby.

"I don't think I'm making a mistake," breathed Hermione talking softly. "I don't think we'll be here; that we'll take a rest. Nobody will hurt us again. What fault do you have? I can't drag you with me... We have been hungry and cold ... we don't have family or friends but I am at peace. I did what I had to do and I'm sure Mom and Dad are waiting for us... and Crookshanks too."

Hermione smiled as if recalling a little prank, because remembering her faithful, furry friend and her family had such effect on her. "I wish I could give you the opportunity to learn, to see, to experience... forgive me if I'm being selfish. I just hope that, wherever our souls go, it's where my family is." She nodded in acceptance, trying to convince herself that everything would be fine and feeling weaker by the minute. "We'll feel the embrace of death... But fear not, Mom will be with you. You and I have to see death with tranquility ... it'd be only a companion on our long journey to another dimension. I don't think it hurts. No more than my body hurts right now... I've been afraid to die. Your grandparents always talked about it with me. I was told that it's only when a cycle ends, that one day it'll happen, that is part of life. Death must be respected and so when it happens, we'll shake hands and ask it to lead us, to guide us. I will pray for Harry... I'll now leave calmer. Now Luna took my place."

And so in silence, she asked God, Merlin and all magical beings and sacred to help and ensure for Harry's life... and Ron's... Ginny's... Luna's... Neville's ... the Weasley's. She did it over and over again like a mantra that harbored hopes for a better world...

Her body started to shake again. The moisture of her dress was absorbed into her body and her temperature rose like a rocket. Her nerves, she thought, would be destroyed by now. As her wounds had contact with dirt and bacteria, and there was no way to treat them, Hermione assumed that if it was not for lack of food, she'll die from infection in her wounds or, at least, pneumonia. But that wouldn't stop her prayers. She wanted to continue raising her voice to the heavens until she couldn't anymore.

It took more than three hours when her body wasn't responding at all and yet her blood was shed from the deep wounds. And then she really could pray no longer. Hermione's vision clouded and blinked with her good eye, unable to keep conscious. The last words she could pronounce were accompanied with tears and came in a whisper, lost in the air.

"... Don't let Harry ever be alone ... please ..."

* * *

It had been six weeks since Cho was found in her horrible plan. She was now waiting for her trial in which Luna offered to testify for the green-eyed man, for surely that is what he was now. She would get a dispensation from McGonagall when she received the owl from the ministry for the event.

The rumor of what Cho Chang, helped by her friend Marietta Edgecombe, had done spread like wildfire and obviously, again, the scandal surrounded Harry overwhelmingly.

The man did not care what was said in 'The Prophet' with reports and investigations by the insidious Rita Skeeter, or the hundreds and hundreds of owls that had arrived since the discovery; a lot of the correspondence were by females where they sought an appointment or marriage proposals. All mail going directly into the fireplace. He didn't want support or insulting words or condolences. The only thing that plagued his mind was the memory of how they treated Hermione on the train ... and that hurt like the Cruciatus Curse hitting him permanently.

At the public announcement that Cho Chang had kept Harry controlled with 'Amortentia', the ministry didn't declare anything. They were determined not to publish that Hermione had been unjustly accused of murder and wouldn't allow that Cho and Marietta were interviewed, all courtesy of Kingsley and Tonks.

The excitement of the whole thing brought back memories to Harry about his years at Hogwarts ... and how Hermione always supported him and stood by him through thick and thin without asking anything in return.

What he felt for Hermione he had already discovered long ago. When he learned that she almost perished on Christmas Day, and was hurt and devastated by the death of Roger and Jane Granger, that was when his heart revealed what he didn't know it was love...

But many things stopped him to confessing this new found realization: all his loved ones ended up dead. Hermione's parents had just been killed, how could he even think about revealing such information? He didn't think the girl felt the same way for him and he didn't want to ruin a friendship that they both treasured. Harry didn't want to lose her.

Cowardice was his ally to stay out of any demonstration of affection, but unconsciously he spent more time with her, or he paid more attention to her frequent lectures when he and Ron refused or delay the study for their homework or tests; sometimes he helped Hermione to carry the excessive amount of books. Other times he sat very close to her in order to smell her perfume of vanilla and something that was all Hermione: parchment and books.

For him it was a captivating essence, her eyes... the contoure of her lips... everything. What Hermione possessed was a natural beauty. She wasn't pretentious or conceited. She never giggled stupidly like other girls. Hermione was genuine, strong and brave, not weak and delicate. Many times Harry suppressed thinking of her as a woman out of respect, but couldn't help wondering about Hermione's body under the uniform or what she's wearing ... and immediately his hormones got out of control and all his blood went right under his pants. Although the attraction was an important part, even more was that the depth of his feelings could develop fully first. He was a man for God's sake! Merlin! He couldn't be away from her for long!

When his fight against Voldemort finally came, his biggest concern was Hermione and Ron. A huge relief made him breathe again when he saw them near him, hurt, battered and exhausted, but alive.

Next thing he knew was that Cho attended to the Hogwarts infirmary and from there on he was like living through another person. All memory of his feelings for Hermione was imprisoned in the haze of his forgotten mind. Yes, it was a forgotten mind, overshadowed by the potion that Cho added to his food and treatments. From that moment, he had a new mind in which his only thought was Cho. He felt that nothing was worthwhile other than her or having her around him; Harry remember how he was bewitched and manipulated and the sole memory disgusted him - when Harry remembered the times they had sex even induced him to vomit - but what hurt him the most, and now regretted deeply, was that Hermione had been treated like crap. His beloved Hermione, when he remembered her face full of anguish and pain, when he saw her leave the compartment, his heart felt heavy. Harry was so distressed and worried that sleep was denied to him and his health deteriorated.

Sometimes he was so irritable that, at the slightest provocation, he exploded and ran yelling to his room at Grimmauld Place cursing at the heavens. Sometimes Ron came by to visit him only to find Dobby and Kreacher cleaning the house: Harry, angered and frustrated, raised his wand and destroyed everything in its path.

Once, he sat in Sirius' room mourning and - Ron could swear he even heard Harry cry - and didn't come out until the next day.

However, all Harry's friends helped him find Hermione. The search included all Great Britain and Northern Ireland. They even put signs in popular and crowded places that read 'lost' and a picture with Hermione and, indeed, the notice appeared in every magical community in Europe.

Of course Luna and Ginny had to return to Hogwarts for their final year, but promised that every visit to Hogsmeade, they were going to interrogate anyone.

Ron spent much of his time with Harry planning strategies and solutions to find Hermione. The green-eyed man's moral's sometimes were in tatters, and at other times he felt elated by a sudden breeze of hope. The redhead didn't know the magnitude of what Harry felt, but although he never revealed his real affection for Hermione, the man talking about her idealizing, and of course, the state he was in, was more than enough. For Ron it was obvious that Harry's love for her was strong and not knowing the girl's whereabouts was making him crumble like a castle made of sand, beaten by the waves of the sea.

Getting sympathies when he walked through Diagon Alley, was for Harry like a bucket of cold water with Gryndillows; he grunted a rude reply and left.

"You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude, Harry." Ron had to trot after him to get his attention after cursing aloud when an unknown lady approached him to tell that she knew Cho Chang and could not believe she was capable of something of the sort. In response, Harry growled and stomped off, "Come on, come on." Ron firmly held Harry's arm and led him to the Three Broomsticks.

When they sat down, Tom, the manager, smiled gently and before Ron said nothing, Harry grunted and ordered two glasses of firewhiskey. Ron just shook his head, not knowing what else to say. It bothered him to know that Harry was now drinking so steadily.

"You can't drink that, Harry. You're doing it too often."

"Do you mind?"

"Of course I do!" Ron exclaimed softly "What would your parents say? Or worse, what'd Hermione say?" but Harry was already drinking up every last drop of his drink: the force of the alcohol caused a grimace distort his face "What would she say if-"

"You know what, Ron?! She's not here. She isn't!"

"And when she gets back?"

Harry knew it was wrong. That drinking into oblivion wouldn't help. So far he hadn't get drunk enough to pass out on the floor, but he wanted something ... at least his drink activated his senses to stop feeling like moldy brass.

He stared down at the drink on his hand as if wanting to drown in it and know what it felt to be an object and not have to worry about anything. Ron tentatively put a hand on his shoulder, and Harry turned to him. The redhead watched the emerald eyes of his friend opaque in sadness and despair.

"Do you... do you think she'll come back again?" muttered Harry and Ron noticed his voice cracking.

"That depends on us." The redhead sighed. "I'm with you and I'll help you, mate. And not just me ... you know that," Harry nodded morosely. "But, my ... you have to be careful, you must stop drinking ... I don't want you to end up addicted. That's not good for you and we will help you find Hermione."

"I know," admitted the somber man. "I have no excuse. It's just that sometimes I'm so worried I need to do something but I don't know what that is." Harry looked straight into Ron's blue eyes, "I ... I sent her a letter with Hedwig and... Hedwig came back the same she left ... not even Hedwig found her." Ron frowned in incomprehension. "That shouldn't happen, should it? ... Why couldn't she find her?"

"You sent Hedwig ... and she came back... when?"

"Last night."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, maybe because I didn't want you to know ... but I couldn't hide it from you anymore. I had to tell you. I'm thinking that, since I sent Hedwig, Hermione may have thought it was to threaten her for coming to see Luna-"

"Are you saying that you sent Hedwig nearly six weeks ago ... and just returned? You didn't even tell me. Now I know why you never sent her with me!"

"Yeah... I'm sorry." A heavy sigh came from Harry's mouth, but Ron wasn't even offended.

"Perhaps Hedwig couldn't find her." Ron said as his mind traveled to the few things he learned about owls.

"How is it possible? The trace of magic should've guided Hedwig!"

"Precisely! Six weeks away, in which Hedwig sought, only Merlin knows where, and returned with the letter. Hermione couldn't have been hidden. You can't hide your magic, Harry. Neither of us can. What if we asked McGonagall? Or Bill?"

"Yes. You're right."

"First thing in the morning, we're going to Shell Cottage. As soon as I get back home, I'll use Errol and... no." Ron shook his red head visibly wanting to laugh. "No. I better get another owl. I don't even want to imagine what might happen to Errol on the road ... he's so old that he rarely finds its perch at the Burrow."

At least this time Harry smiled. After a sigh and two bottles of butterbeer, they left the Pub. Harry wouldn't let himself be overcome by depression and despair ... he wouldn't give up.

* * *

She didn't know how long she'd been there; it could've spent days or eons ... she didn't feel suspended in limbo. Something in what she perceived, like a vibration, suddenly shook her.

Her body wasn't floating or anything of the sort and she was dressed ... slowly she was aware of her surroundings.

For a moment, she thought she was waking up in heaven or whatever they called this place now, but it wasn't...

She could feel ... How could she be able to feel if she was dead? It wasn't logic! ... But how could she explain if she was dead? She had never been dead before.

Then she did the unthinkable, what she thought would never do again...

She opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was a high ceiling and some awfully wrong made restorations on it. Old wooden beams precariously held the structure ... she could smell burnt spices, drugs, alcohol and lidocaine ... beneath her she felt something, like an old mattress with noticeable damaged springs. Her arms and legs, in fact most of her body, was wrapped in bandages ... the air didn't seem to be very healthy, the wind brought sounds of agony not far from her.

She tried to speak but nothing came out of her mouth except something a bit more than a raspy cry that seemed to come from far away ... and moments later she heard urged footsteps.

Hermione cringed when the face of a woman entered her field of vision. A woman with dark skin and brown, dull eyes appeared above her. Some wrinkles scattered around the lady's features could tell were the vestige of experience, but her lips were very nice, well defined ... in itself, the woman had a kind face, Hermione thought, because in that moment the lady smiled and thought that her whole face had lit up.

"It's a miracle!" Exclaimed the woman, visibly relieved, her accent gave the impression of someone who had studied and read enough books as to barely spit each word out. "I thought you'd die-"

"I'm ...I'm alive?" Hermione's mouth was so dry that every word felt as if her tongue was carved on wood when she spoke.

"Yes, dear. You're alive."

- TO BE CONTINUED -

* * *

A / N What? Sad, isn't it? Now, I've a request for you all, and I'm going to repeat this every author's note: it's **ESSENTIAL** to have the song '**Fix You**' of **Coldplay** ready to play while reading chapter 8. It is important because it gives more meaning to the story and you will realize what I am trying to express. Personally, I think it's just as I wanted to write down this fic.

I thank you for being so patient for this story. Thanks for your support, because I thought no one would like it, especially because it's not my language. For those who have put me in your alert, for putting me as favorite author, for those who chose this as their favorite story, for those who leave their opinion, comment or complaint...

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Don't forget to leave your reviews!

Stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

When the woman said, "you're alive," Hermione began to mourn inconsolably. She was sure it was the end, that she was finally going to rest in peace, that she'd be happy, and everything fell apart.

Her hopes turned into ashes when Hermione saw her opportunity had passed. Crying, she began to get up from where she was lying. All she wanted was to leave and try again, to run until she could find a place and never be seen again, but the woman at her side wouldn't allow her to even move. The brunette struggled to stand still when her wounds protested, like the lady. But she couldn't struggle for long.

Hermione was extremely weak, so she let herself fall back onto the old mattress but that didn't stop her crying. The old lady left for a moment but returned with a glass of water for Hermione and she accepted it. After a while, the brunette stopped mourning, but her mournful sighs made her chest rise and fall erratically, an expression of a deep depression, an enormous grievances.

Hermione just didn't know what else to try, or what to do or where to go, she just thought mournfully, _'Why am I still alive? Is it a penance?'_

"What's your name?" the woman asked her but Hermione didn't bother answering. "My name is Layha. Nice to meet you," she said kindly. But the brunette remained silent, now looking at the ceiling without actually seeing. Actually, Hermione indeed heard her, it's just that she wouldn't talk, she didn't want to talk. "Want something to eat?" Layha tried again, but Hermione shook her head. "You have to, your baby needs it."

This appeared to be, finally, what brought back some sense to Hermione. She moved a little to see the woman while her bandaged hand went straight to her belly. In her grief, she had forgotten all about her little baby. Layha smiled with a smile that was like seeing the sun - it gave her a little bit of happiness. Moments later, Hermione nodded and the woman left. Five minutes later she appeared with an old tray that she put on the floor to help Hermione sit down and take the serum of her wrist. Layha took the tray and put it on Hermione's lap, on it was a half loaf of bread, mushroom soup, a sandwich and a glass of orange juice. The brunette forgot everything she was feeling or thinking; her starvation erased whatever she had on her mind. Hermione began to devour the food in anguish, as if the contents were about to disappear.

Meanwhile Layha spoke, "I really don't know how you came to that place. The access to that part of the jungle is very difficult, if not almost impossible to get through." Hermione took a long drink of juice and kept eating the soup, "especially in your condition ... you know? I personally checked on you." Hermione stopped eating. Her last piece of bread in midair to see Layha's face with some anxiety. "Who could be able to treat you so cruelly? Especially while pregnant?" the woman shook her head indignantly. "I struggled to heal every wound with the little drugs and bandages I could find but finally the infected places disappeared and are now healed. You've been here for about three weeks unconscious; you've had a smattering of high fevers. I don't know how, but a company of explorers found you deep into the valley. They had to leave their camp and brought you here," the woman made a pause to watch the brunette's reaction but Hermione continued attack what was left of her soup.

"We are 38 miles from the point you were; this was the closest rural site, but we could save you and your baby." Hermione finished eating in silence, feeling that it was like a feast compared to what she ingested after leaving Hogwarts. She didn't want to admit that she appreciated the food - after all, her plan did not go as expected. Hermione sighed feeling resigned and satisfied at the same time. In reality, her mind was blank, now that she's full, or as full as anyone in her conditions can be, but most of all, she ran out of ideas. Her life was so out of her hands that simply, even with a full stomach, her soul was absolutely empty.

"My name is Jane." Said Hermione simply. It was half a lie, but preferred that the truth of her life was undiscovered, starting with her name.

"How did you get there?"

"The truth is that I... I don't remember," she stuttered out, coming up with a lie, finally pretending on dementia.

"Then tell me where you live, your parents name or your husband's, maybe even friends, any family you have so we could tell them that-" Layha asked in rapid fire succession.

"I have nobody. I have nowhere to go." Hermione sighed and looked at Layha's brown eyes. "My parents were murdered, someone set my home aflame with them inside last Christmas with all my belongings ... I never had friends."

"What about your husband?" she finally asked.

Hermione closed her eyes in resignation, "I'm not married."

"But you're pregnant," she stated in a matter of fact tone.

Hermione breathed in and out several times trying to get some of the will she had lost. "I ... I was raped," she breathed out.

"Yes. I know that you were raped, dear. I checked you myself and-"

"No, you don't understand, I'm pregnant because I was abused, and then, the same boys found me and they did it again," she whispered in a broken voice.

The sole mention of the experience, the sole memory of that vivid nightmare, was like tearing her apart again. Layha's eyes widened in terror. "The sa-same boys?" she stutters, "Was it more than one?"

"Yes."

Hermione looked away to not see the features of the woman writhing in shame. "They, well, all of them did it, but only two of them hit me."

"So ... You don't have anything?"

"Just what I was wearing... and my baby." Layha took Hermione's hands and she turned to see her: the woman's eyes were wet, and some tears fell but contrary of what the brunette was thinking, Layha didn't feel pity, but real pain for her.

* * *

As the weeks passed, the search for Hermione became less enthusiastic. Not because they hadn't wanted to find her, after all, the magic world owed it to Harry Potter for having killed the most feared wizard in over a century, but because, no matter how or where they looked, no one seemed to have seen or heard of her. It was a bit difficult to move people, but not even all of Harry's friends had graduated. Even acquaintances and friends of friends, or the Order of the Phoenix could find her.

And it seemed it'd take long.

Searching the rest of Europe meant more of a challenge, but even then some of them made trips, sometimes short, sometimes long, and just had not heard from her. For Harry it was as if Hermione had been erased from the face of earth. After Luna recounted for him in detail of Hermione's last visit, he felt ashamed, shame at himself for failing, for not being strong and allowing this to happen. What was worse was when the blonde said something was wrong with Hermione, something that was not normal - and if Luna said so, it must really be abnormal. Not only that, but the blonde girl said she felt such overwhelming emotions, the only word that came to mind was 'peace' - the desire to be at peace. Harry had no idea what Luna had meant, but how could he? He hadn't experienced it the same way she did... and still he felt there was something out there that just eluded him.

Cho Chang's trial was held in early October. Harry, Ron, Luna and Remus were called as witnesses and accusers. And Mafalda Hopkirk and Kingsley Shacklebolt, as well as Tonks, took the processed judgment with few people to witness that would take place fairly. In the end, the defense couldn't get Cho out of trouble when Marietta confessed without the need of Veritaserum.

So, Cho Chang was sentenced to 15 years and Marietta Edgecombe to only 4 years for confessing, of course, the Ministry of Magic took their wands and were vetoed for life. Cho screamed for mercy, she who was flanked by two dementors, did not move one bit of Harry's troubled heart. Of course, after that, 'The Prophet' was present outside in the atrium of the Ministry, but two things happened: everyone except Harry, Luna, Ron, Tonks and Remus went in separate destinations to avoid the press and their identities as witnesses of the event remained in full incognito.

And it was Harry who, when Rita Skeeter elbowed her way to him, simply told the insidious reporter the exact location where to put her pen and parchment. Unfortunately, as everything in Harry's life, everyone found out about the trial. Somehow, the full trial was released in The Prophet despite the measures taken to not expose Hermione. Tonks who angrily was now looking for the gossiper who gave the classified information to the press, vowed that there will be hell to pay for it.

"Let's see it this way, Harry," Remus said. At his side was Tonks, and the rest of the Weasleys, except for Ginny, Charlie and Percy, were sitting at the Burrow the day after the verdict, "At least this time the papers favor Hermione and it gives us another chance."

"Does it? Like what, Remus?" Harry asked sarcastically.

"Well, two things: the first is that all those who were on the train and knew of the incident now know that Hermione is innocent, and secondly, the news has scattered faster than ourselves." Remus smiled and Harry's face softened. "Now we have more opportunities to find her because she has become a heroine. Your story, I'm afraid to say that, as always, has been on the forefront." Remus lifted up the paper and read: " 'The-girl-who-saved-the-chosen one' is now a celebrity."

"Fortunately, it wasn't Skeeter who wrote the story," said Molly Weasley. She was so worried about Hermione as if the girl had been her own daughter and always asking if there were news of her when someone appeared at the Burrow, which is why Harry avoided to go there at all cost. "Otherwise, I imagine that Hermione would've been degraded ... no, I don't want to even think about that."

"Now, now, Molly," Arthur Weasley hugged her warmly in an attempt to calm the anxiety of his wife.

"Remus is right, Harry," Ron said "this advertising may help us."

It was not until then that Harry realized that Remus was quite right. This was the opportunity that Hermione would be free from blame. If she finds out, then she'd be back, and Harry would be able to have her around and this time he wouldn't let her go, unfortunately it didn't happen. October passed, November ended and the first week of December was covered with snow all around, but Hermione did not return. She did not come back...

Despite the news in which Hermione Granger, now innocent of any charge, was sought sounded loudly everywhere, no one saw her. No one had heard of her.

In the second week of December, Pigwidgeon came back again with the letter attached to its leg. Nothing. Not even Pig could find her. Bill told Harry and Ron that, when those things happened, it may be because the person wasn't magical or had no wand. That frightened Harry and Ron, and they denied themselves that brown-eyed girl wouldn't get rid of her wand, especially because Luna told them that Hermione had it with her when she visited her. When Hogwarts students returned home for the holidays, Ginny and Luna returned wanting to know everything and found nothing but the shadowed faces of Harry and Ron.

Molly Weasley insisted that Harry spend a few days at the Burrow and take the elves with him. He reluctantly accepted when Ron told him that he had better do it because his mother was about to crumble in pieces just thinking about the brunette. Harry shared the sentiment, though he had a very different love for Hermione. Harry did nothing but think about her, what she could be possibly doing ... if she was cold, if she would dine in someone else's company, if maybe she'd found someone who could give her the love that everyone, including him, refused to give, if someday she'd return. Harry supposed that, at this point, Hermione would've heard of what happened in Cho's trial, after all, the brunette loved books and papers. He wanted to believe that the girl would return immediately to London to just know that Harry was alright. But still she did not return.

The morning of the twenty-fourth, Ginny, Molly, Fleur and Apolline - the veela's mother - struggled in the kitchen of the Burrow making dinner. Arthur, Bill and Percy Weasley had to go to work, Fred and George were in their apartment in Diagon Alley, Luna was with his father, but promised to come the next day to open presents. Remus and Tonks were spending time with Ted and Andromeda Tonks, Neville was with his grandmother, but like Luna, was returning to greet them in the morning. The only one missing was Charlie, who was tied to his dragons that were very ill.

"Let's go to the kitchen, Harry. You have to eat."

"I don't want to."

"Stop eating solves nothing." Insisted Ron, this time a bit more annoyed.

"I don't care," he said stubbornly.

"AAAAGGGHHH!" Ron shouted, raising his hands above his head in exasperation, visibly frustrated. Last night Harry refused to eat anything and Ron had insisted that he should eat, but Harry had no appetite. "Starving isn't going to make Hermione come back!"

Harry stood up from the bed where he had been lying just looking at the ceiling, and faced Ron. "I know it's not going to bring her back, but I'm not hungry, Ron. Can't you understand or is it your stomach all that can function?" Harry's sarcasm wasn't loud. He did not yell. What Ron disliked was the pun of his best friend and the tone of indifference with which he said it. Ron was about to answer with obscenities when he heard a 'crack' in the redhead's room. He and Harry turned to see who had just shown up and saw Kreacher making a bow.

"Master Harry," the elf's voice and his eyes were tinged with trouble, "Mrs. Weasley is asking to come down to the kitchen, sir."

"Tell her I won't eat, Kreacher," said Harry in a dismissive tone.

"It is not that, master Harry," he said hesitatingly.

"What then?"

"There's someone in the fireplace and the lady wants Master Harry and Master Ronald down at once." Harry and Ron looked at each other in surprise thinking the same thing: that Hermione had appeared. Moments later both apparated with a loud 'crack' in the interior of the kitchen, making Molly, Fleur, Ginny and Apolline jump in fright.

"What is it?"

"Have you found Hermione?"

"Who is in the fireplace?"

"You have news, haven't you?" Harry and Ron were talking at the same time, making their way to see the fireplace... where Charlie's face looked ghostly, surrounded by green flames. "No," he replied, Molly sighed in disappointment.

"Charlie wants to ask you a favor." The faces of both boys returned to its normal state of resignation as Charlie spoke to them. "I need you to go to a certain place."

"Why don't you go yourself?" Ron asked annoyed, still fuming for Harry's attitude.

"Don't be rude, Ronald!" Molly scolded.

"Because I can't, Ron. I have a very sick dragon to care for, its scales are rotting and the others are taking care of the other dragons that are all in the same condition. I don't have anyone to go for what I need. I barely had time to just come to the floo." Charlie's hand came out from the flames and dropped a scroll that Harry took. "These are the potions I need. Go get them for me, please."

"But-" Ron tried to protest.

"It's important, Ron. We don't have the potions and it's urgent. Can you do me this favor? I promise that I'll reward you some other time. Oh! And take Harry with you!"

"Is it necessary?"

"Absolutely. There is only one person in a specific place where you can get most of the ingredients for the potions and it's a hermit wizard who likes to be difficult. If Harry goes with you, it'll be easier and less time spent in waste."

"All right." Harry agreed.

"Well then," Ron replied resignedly.

"Then go as fast as possible. You have to go to the Central floo to take the shortcut. Go to Diagon Alley for that."

"One thing, though," Harry asked curiously, glad to have something to do with their time, "Is it in another country?"

"Yes," Charlie simply stated.

"Where?"

"India, not far from New Delhi."

* * *

**A/N:** How was it? Do you liked it? I know this one was shorter, but I promise everything's gonna wet worse and worse XD Don't forget to have **Fix you** by Coldplay ready to play for **chapter 8**, also **My Immortal** by Evanescence. The first one is essencial!

Again, thanks to **Alex (the lost tree in tumblr)** for her help and suggestions! Don't forget to leave a review :)

Thanks for keep reading. I know you must have found better fics (I've read better fics myself) but this idea plaged my mind and I had to write it down and see what happens.


	7. Chapter 7

I got a review from a guest where this person claimed that he/she had dealt with rape and that Hermione wouldn't have tried to kill herself for it. Well, my point writing this plot is that, sometimes, life puts us things and experiences to archive something in particular. Humans are breakable, humans can bend, humans can be destroyed. We aren't able to predict what will happen in the near future. For all we know, today could be our last, but we wouldn't know, would we? Who can say rape can't destroy a person? Who? I'm referring to a fictional character here, given that, I think any other character, fictional or not, is vulnerable. No one is free from this fate and anyone can be a victim. Too many factors involve taking such a rash decision. Are you sure you wouldn't do it? Are you sure you wouldn't take away your own life at some point in your life? Just remember: no one is perfect no matter how hard you try. All we can do is fight…

Until the very end.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

When Hermione met Layha, she realized that the woman was extremely kind. The brunette didn't want to believe it would be only because she saw her abandoned and poor, but felt that maybe, just maybe, that would hardly be the main reason. Layha had a quality that reminded her of her mother so much, so she stopped feeling attacked and her semi-hostile attitude was rapidly evaporating, and started to be a little more like how she really was.

Layha was like a godsend. The lady took care of Hermione the next two weeks she spent in the hospital to which the explorers brought her. Since they were in a rural site, located southwest of Haryana, despite the high number of its population, they still lived in poverty. Almost everyone worked the land. Agriculture was their way of life but the pay was very low, especially at that time of year. Layha chatted with Hermione about all those things and sometimes tried to talk her out about her life but the brunette really didn't answer.

Layha was a nurse. She said she originally lived in Maharashtra, Mombay's capital (formerly Bombay), but since her husband died a few days after getting married, and because their traditions about widows, Layha decided she didn't want to live there anymore, preferring to locate herself in a place closer to New Delhi. Thus she ended up in Haryana. As she couldn't marry again and never had children, she devoted herself to helping others.

Layha never took the subject if she had parents, siblings or other relatives. Hermione wanted to know more but chose not to ask. It seemed that both wanted to forget their past and thought it would be best to leave things as they were. Each one had their secrets, and respect them was the healthiest thing both of them could do.

When Hermione's wounds healed almost completely and her health improved, Layha said that, since Hermione lacked of any documents of the sorts, a mere possible way for her to survive would be to work on cotton plantations whose collection began in late October.

Layha lived within the hospital and the few beds available were for the sick so she told her about the huts in a small village near the plantations. As the nurse was not well paid could not offer much help, but the moral support she gave Hermione was a great comfort.

The cotton fields were the salvation for many, if not most of the families so it was overpopulated in workers and already had enough pickers. Layha managed a way to give Hermione working without documents, and even though she was five months pregnant, the brunette would make a journey of about 10 or 11 hours.

All that mattered was that she'd get paid for it.

However, and no matter what Layha said about sweet dreams coming true or any hopes for the future, there was still the shadow of her sorrows and desires. Amid the fog of her precarious situation, was the spark of light that Layha gave her to not let herself become depressed, or talking about of how she must fight for her baby, that no matter what her past was: that Hermione was young and still had a chance to survive and find a way to raise her new family and that Layha would be there to help her the best she could.

Thus, the brunette began what she thought would be a new life.

This wasn't as Hermione expected. Layha got her the hut she'd promised but needed a way to pay for it. It was a little cabin that reminded her so much to the room she rented in London, with the difference that she had to use a common bathroom –more like a latrine. There she met women whose young kids were not going to school, instead they worked on the collection.

They were large families with little pay each and couldn't always eat. The most they could get was rice, whose production in Haryana was fruitful.

To Hermione, the extensive hours of work were difficult and tiring. Never in her life had she worked, and although she was willing to, she had to admit it was not what she had in mind as a future. However, she found that hard work gave her a peace Hermione hadn't felt in a long time. She didn't feel useless or even unworthy. Her thoughts no longer wandered in her sadness. The girl stopped feeling virtually alone: she now had Layha as a friend. Soon Hermione made her life a peaceful routine.

She got up at four o'clock and walked to the crops for nearly half an hour. On her way there, she could eat fruit and drink water from a nearby well. The collection lasted over 10 hours in which she had paused to eat, but that's only if she had something to get into her mouth. Between 4 and 5 pm -sometimes even until 7pm- finished her routine to return to what she called home.

Some women on the village made food for the community and Hermione went there paying a quarter of rupee (India's currency) for a portion of rice and naan bread, and when she finished eating, Hermione went to her hut and directly to bed, exhausted. She wouldn't wake until the next morning to continue her routine.

The days she didn't work, Layha visited her and taught her how to weave reed baskets by hand. Hermione, in her first attempts got easily splintered, but gradually improved her technique and realized that it served as therapy. Not all baskets were well done, and as the material was not much, she had to undo it and start over.

To pay for her stay in the hut it meant half of her salary, so Layha helped her with food and clothing. The nurse got three decent robes for her and a black scarf, second hand clothes but Hermione willingly accepted them because her belly was swelling more and more each day.

When December came, the air around Hermione turned dense. Layha assured her that it was perfectly normal under her circumstances: the climate change, the holidays and of course, her pregnancy. Hermione had never found her hormones as a rift, but now it was particularly difficult to overcome them.

Christmas was approaching for people who, like her, were accustomed to being surrounded by their loved ones. Hermione realized at once that the first anniversary of her parents' deaths approached...

Unfortunately, starting the second week of December, Layha died. Apparently the old lady had terminal cancer scattered throughout her body. No one knew if the nurse was aware of her condition, but for Hermione it was a huge blow. Since the lady left no will, Layha's few possessions passed to the authorities until they could legally decide what to do with them.

Even then, Hermione did not stop working -she needed the money, but now her routine was heavier than before, and again she was alone, and her only support was herself now.

She would no longer have the sweet words of Layha. There was no light in her way. The nurse had become like a second mother to Hermione and without her support the world was cold and tedious. With the Layha's death, the slight hope that had blossomed, withered.

* * *

"Do you reckon it's here?" Ron questioned.

"That's what the villagers said," muttered Harry.

"I'm not so sure... This place is worse than I imagined. Look at the map again."

Harry and Ron, with difficulty, arrived in New Delhi. Because Harry was accustomed to dealing with muggles, he could ask for the settlement between Punjab and Haryana, where Charlie told them that the elusive wizard was living.

To reach the rustic place, Harry and Ron had to board a shuttle bus for the lack of a magical way to get there.

When they arrived Harry bought a map and asking around, located the zone outside near the fields was Chandre Yamun's cabin.

Ron's reluctance was evident. The cabin seemed to be in ruins but it was enormous. It had a shed full of various plants drying in the sun. On one side was a small vegetable garden and, behind the cabin, a barnyard with chickens and goats. What Ron did not accept was the horrendous pair of horns hanging from the door frame, and hanging from the windows sills were symbols that for Hindus were very common.

With that, Harry came to the door and knocked several times but no one answered. Ron suggested that perhaps the old wizard was already dead, but for Harry that couldn't be possible. The cabin did not seem desolate since there were animals in the pen, so he decided to go to the backyard and saw no one.

Harry was already getting anxious. Charlie needed the potions or the dragons would die. As there was no one who could inform them about the old man, Harry and Ron separated to take a look around, but then when they were just a few meters apart, strong cries made the men jump.

"THIEVES! GET OUT OF MY LAND! GET OUT!"

A man of little height and dark skin, bald but with a huge gray beard scampered Ron around threatening him with a plowing peak.

"What the hell, old man?! HARRY!" Ron bellowed.

Harry pulled out his wand and disarmed the angry man. Instantly the old man, visibly surprised, looked at Harry, approached him with a rather quick pace for his age, and half-closed his eyes. Ron thought he would attack his friend and ran towards them, but Harry held up a hand to appease.

"Who are you, boy?" Growled the old man.

"I'm a friend," Harry replied simply.

"I have no friends."

"Are you Chandre Yamun?"

"It depends on who's asking," growled the old man with suspicion.

"I come on behalf of a friend. My name is Harry Potter."

Here, the man opened his crinkled eyes with a look of surprise. "Well, well, well... _The_ _famous_ Harry Potter!" And the old man extended a hand which Harry shook, both in an enthusiastic handshake.

"So, you are Chandre Yamun." Said Harry in a matter-of-fact tone.

"The one and only, my boy, but-"the old man turned to look at Ron, who had his wand at the ready, he lowered it when he saw Chandre would no longer be hostile. "And who are... wait-"the man approached the redhead and analyzed with weary eyes again, "You're a Weasley."

The surprised one was now Ron. Harry shrugged and stood beside his friend. The old man and the redhead shook hands.

"Come on in," the man signaled at them to enter the cabin. "I did not mean to scare you. Would you like a bit of infusion?" Harry and Ron nodded and soon they had before them a couple of cups of steaming apple juice infused with cinnamon and cloves.

The man led them to the huge main room populated with organized large plants and labeled bottles. They sat on some old but large couches while the boys had a view of the place. It made them remind a little of Hagrid's cabin, only that this one was bigger and without the wild animals.

"What brings you here?" Chandre asked the boys taking in their inquisitive eyes to the ceiling that had more symbols like the ones on the windows. Harry took the parchment and handed it to the man and he took it.

"Like I said, we came on behalf of Charlie Weasley, sir. One... of his creatures needs these potions." Harry avoided saying 'dragon' not to frighten the man.

"Creatures? You mean _dragon_s, right?" Harry and Ron looked at each other and nodded. "I have most of this already done, but one of the potions ... I'll have to do it."

"Will it take long?" asked Ron, his tone impatient, for that Harry elbowed him right in the ribs.

Chandre looked at Ron irritably. "Do you have the money to pay for the potions?"

"Of course." Harry said pulling out a brown velvet pouch making noise with the content.

"Well," growled Chandre contentedly, "It'll be ready in five hours."

"But that's a long time!"

"Shut up, Ron!"

"I must say that the normal process takes almost one day and a half," said the man "but being for Harry Potter I have that limit. Take it or leave."

"We'll take it," said Harry before Ron could speak again.

Chandre nodded, drank the rest of his tea and stood up. "I should add that this potion will cost double."

"Very well," said Harry when he saw that Ron was going to protest.

"You'd better go for a walk. I fear that this place is boring."

"A walk? But, there is nothing!" Again, Ron was elbowed by Harry.

"Well, the landscape itself is beautiful. This is why I live here!" said Chandre taking some plants out of one bottle, "it's quiet. Walking past the corral you will encounter a valley where there is a growing field. They are currently collecting and it always relaxes me a little to take a trip there." Here, the man stopped moving and looked wistfully to the back door with his old eyes. "Especially a girl. I have not seen her but from afar, but she is very nice-"The man shook his head. "Anyway, you can't stay here. Come back in five hours and you'll have everything you need."

Chandre led them to the back door and Harry and Ron thanked the man and went walking by where they were told.

"A Girl?" Ron whispered when they were far enough to not be heard. "But he's too old to check out girls! I think that is insane!"

"Yeah..." Harry admitted quietly. "Did you notice that he never pulled out his wand at all?"

"Yeah, it's strange. After all he's a wizard, isn't he?" Ron asked, his tone questioning.

"I don't know, but it's a good thing that, if he has one, he'd have cursed us believing we were thieves."

After a walk of more than twenty minutes, in which both commented and criticized the man and his cabin, they came to the banks of the valley. From this position, Harry and Ron admired the huge plantation under their feet and sat down to look at the large number of people with baskets taking little balls of cotton with their bare hands. Thinking that they'd probably need it, Ron pulled out his Omnioculars, the same as Harry had bought him and Hermione for the Quidditch World Cup game before starting his fourth year at Hogwarts.

Ron was standing and went on to observe, while Harry's gaze wandered farther inside than outside.

"If they weren't muggles, they would use their wands to get it done," said the redhead with a teasing tone, as if what he saw was abnormal, which to him it was. "Just look at them."

"It's not funny, Ron."

"I know it isn't ... but still, it would be easier," answered the redhead offended at what Harry was implying.

It had been almost two hours in which Ron kept criticizing and Harry was tempted to pull out his wand and silence his friend. He said that all of them looked the same in skin and routine, that their clothes were not exactly recommended and a number of follies.

"... and children... How are their parents making them go to work?" Ron made a pause to huff annoyingly. "We should be at home, I'm hungry."

"Ron, we ate a little more than three hours ago."

"But I'm not satisfied. I want the food my mother cooks."

"As soon as the potions are ready, we'll apparate out of here and have dinner at the Burrow."

"But still three hours! What if we go with the people down there? They must have something to eat-"

Ron stopped. He stopped talking and moving. As Harry was lying down and looking up at the sky, he got scared. Harry thought Ron would've fainted from hunger, even though they had a lot of lunch before leaving, but with Ron anything was possible. A little alarmed, Harry sat down and looked at his friend, but the redhead was too still, silent, unmoving.

"Ron….." called Harry, but his friend did not move. "Ron, are you okay?" But Ron remained stoic. Harry stood and approached the redhead. Ron was watching through the omnioculars but it was as if he would've been petrified by an errant spell, however, the boy's breathing was agitated. "Ron, is something wrong? What are you seeing?"

The redhead's hands started shaking holding the Omnioculars and this alarmed Harry. Slowly, so as not to lose focus, Ron moved his face to see Harry. The green-eyed man noticed Ron's features were completely surprised and he was paler than before. He opened his mouth and closed it but said nothing. Again, Ron opened and closed his mouth but seemed unable to say a word.

"What?!" Harry shouted exasperated, to which Ron pointed a finger at the Omnioculars and Harry approached the object to find out what the redhead could not articulate.

While Harry settled to see through Omnioculars, Ron said quietly.

"I think I know which girl Chandre Yamun referred to."

When Harry focused to a specific point, his heart started beating out of control. Suddenly his mind stopped working and he even seemed to have stopped breathing, feeling a painful lump in the throat, his stomach clenched and his gut twisted as he opened his eyes in utter surprise. Now he could understand why Ron looked dumbfounded: a girl kneeling in front of a bush picking small balls of cotton. She had a scarf on her head but her beautiful brown curls and nose were unmistakable.

After so many troubles, after many pleas to the heavens, after the agony in his tortured mind and soul, finally, they had finally found Hermione.

**- TO BE CONTINUED -**

* * *

**A / N:** First of all, thanks for my wonderful beta, Alex, who is helping me with a lot of things here and I won't get tired of showing her my gratitude for her effort.

I'm doing my best not to jump from the euphoria. It's a shame that I do know what will happen ... AND YOU DON'T! I'MM BAD GURL! MUAHAHAHAHAHA What do you think? Did you like it? please don't forget to leave a review and, most of all, don't forget this: GET READY THE SONG **'FIX YOU'**, of **COLDPLAY** IS **IMPORTANT!**

You may also get some tissues at hand, because... well, I'll let you figure it out.

Stay tuned! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**WARNING NOTE! **

**As promised, here is the long awaited Chapter 8 that I mentioned, but I warn you that the level of depression is ...** **strong.** **I hope you can handle it well enough.** **Just remember: it's fiction.** **Have ready the song 'Fix you' when you read the instruction, don't play it until then.** **It also comes as a recommendation, 'My Immortal' by ****Evanesence, same with the display at some point in the reading.**

**Thanks to my wonderful beta Alex who, aparently, was moved by this chapter as much as I was.**

**Thank you and enjoy it.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Although the air was cold, Hermione was sweating profusely. The sun, instead of providing warmth, was scorching and under its powerful rays, mixed with the inner heat of her pregnancy and picking cotton, did nothing but exhaust her more at every passing minute. For a moment she felt her eyes close and her limbs tingle, not only for the weight of her body and position, but also from the lack of food.

The last time she ate was the previous morning: a loaf of bread with what was left of honey and a rather mature banana. She was afraid to faint right there, but refused to succumb. If the rumor that she couldn't take anymore reached the foreman's ears, he would tell her to leave and to not come back. Hermione couldn't allow it. She needed to work, otherwise her pay would be suspended and her situation was already precarious.

"Are you okay?" asked a lady next to Hermione, the brunette was blinking furiously as another collector made his rounds with a barrel with water to give to the other workers.

"Yes... I'm just a little tired," Hermione replied weakly. She was pale but her cheeks were flushed, her face shining with perspiration.

The barrel boy approached her when the woman signaled at him and took Hermione's wrist to check her pulse. With a cup of wood served her a bit of water and gave it to Hermione. She willingly, but desperately, drank it.

"You should go to bed. At least you can," said the boy in an unknown dialect and the woman translated it for the brunette, always talking with a weird but still understandable accent.

"No. I don't need it," said Hermione stubbornly.

"Listen to him," said the woman. "In your state it's not convenient. Go. We got you covered."

"But-" Hermione tried to protest.

"Do it, girl. You are too tired to continue. Go home and come back tomorrow. Take this," the woman took an apple from her pocket and handed it to Hermione. She took it hesitantly and was about to refuse the offer, but she put the apple firmly in Hermione's hand and made her close her fist around it, "Go."

Resigned, Hermione sighed and agreed. The girl had to admit that she couldn't continue. The fact that the woman assured her to help with what was left of her work made her feel bolder; relieved, Hermione accepted the offer.

When the woman and the boy watched her trying to stand up to no avail, both took her from the arms and helped her get on her feet. Hermione thanked them and with a slight smile, she began to walk back to the hut, the place that she now called home.

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Harry had just found Hermione with the collectors and with the impact of Ron's discovery, squeezed the Omnioculars so hard that his fingers went numb.

"Is ... is ... Hermione," whispered Harry more to himself than to Ron. He couldn't believe it.

Ron placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and he turned. Both faces had joy contorting their features. Harry and Ron looked at each other with extreme relief and the redhead turned to the Omnioculars to see again. As Ron watched in silence, Harry could not help but take out his emotion.

"You found her! You found her, Ron! We have to go with her now! Come on!"

But Ron let out a gasp of surprise mixed with concern. "Oh no! Look!" And with this, Harry approached him in alarm. Each one looked with one eye through the Omnioculars right in the moment when the boy with the barrel and the old woman helped Hermione to stand up. What they saw froze them instantly when the girl put her hand on her seven months swollen belly, said a few words to the people next to her and began to walk away.

If Harry had been jumping of joy from inside, at that moment the excitement turned into a brick and fell in his stomach with everything the evidence implied. Harry blinked several times thinking it was a cruel trick his mind played at him, but it wasn't. Ron also watched the same thing, his silence said it all. They both looked how she walked away slowly, and none of them knew what to do.

For Harry it was like a blow that he felt was well deserved. His Hermione was ... it couldn't be ... no, she couldn't. It was just that it... it's like a sadistic punishment. It couldn't be that, after everything that had happened, after all the troubles and tribulations that plagued his mind at night depriving him of sleep and rest, they'd found Hermione ... pregnant.

"Harry!" Ron yelled. The green-eyed man turned to see his friend whose face showed his concern. "Come on! We have to get to her. She's leaving!"

"What?" Harry seemed lost, disoriented.

"I've been calling you for about a minute. Aren't you listening? Hermione's leaving, damn it! We must get going!" But Harry didn't move from where he was. His eyes were clouded with a sadness he just couldn't remember ever feeling. "What the hell are you waiting for, Harry?!" Ron pulled him by the arm, "Come on!"

"No, Ron."

"What do you mean?" Ron watched with a mixture of indignation and surprise.

"Hermione ... she is ..." Harry didn't want to say 'pregnant'. His throat felt like closing and the word hanged on there.

"Who cares? We have to go to her, now!"

"Hell, Ron! Can't you see she's pregnant? It's obvious that she must have a husband or something and we aren't going to go mess up her life even more!"

"Harry!" Ron took his friend's shoulders and looked him hard in the eyes. He neither yelled at him nor shook him out of his defeated attitude, but he wanted to, "You love her ... and I understand that what we just saw is killing you, but you won't be in peace until you talk to her. The two of us have to talk to her. Hermione doesn't know a single thing of what has happened ... or at least I don't think so, because she would've returned to London. The least we can do is explain everything to her." Ron turned his stare at Hermione's form, walking away so far now she's almost out of sight. "It's the least she deserves: an explanation."

Harry nodded, now properly chastised, Ron smiled sadly and both ran to reach the road Hermione had taken.

Even before they could be detected, Harry pulled out his wand and put over him and Ron the Disillusionment charm and silenced themselves. Once they did, trotted to reach the girl and, followed her from at least twenty feet away.

Harry's heart was pounding furiously and he was afraid that Hermione would be able to hear the pounding that, to him, was deafening.

Hermione walked silently and slowly admiring the view, but never once looked back. She was locked in her little world admiring her daily walk, which made her go into a quiet introspection.

However, Harry felt a horrible heaviness. He thought their reunion would be a moment of joy and happiness. Hundreds of times, Harry imagined taking Hermione's waist and, kissing her, he would carry her up back home. But that fantasy was just erased from his mind. Instead, the image of a very pregnant Hermione, maybe with another man - that wouldn't be him- at her side, ate his insides. Harry knew he deserved it, because if he had been honest from the start and had confessed what he really felt about her, they would not be going through this. His fear, the one that he often refused to believe at nights, came true. He thought that, after all, she did find someone to give her love, the love that nobody else gave her, that shared her intimacy with someone willing to love and cherish her, that Hermione made love with someone else, but not with Harry. And that was enough for the voice inside him to scream at him to run, to not follow her because he'd find with her his nightmare, because to know all of it would be like stabbing his heart to death.

But Ron was right. It was Harry's obligation and duty to tell her everything, clarify what happened because surely she wouldn't know Hermione never tried to kill Cho. She had to know, and he had to apologize even if he didn't deserve her forgiveness. '_This is my punishment ...__for not being honest with her,_' Harry thought as he and Ron walked from a considerable distance so the sound of their steps wouldn't alert the girl.

Soon they reached a small town. Harry and Ron, under the spell, looked with pity at the small, old and shabby huts. Kids in corroded and dirty clothes were running awkwardly while women, some of them very old, sat on the floor to sharpen their tools for plowing, organizing old bowls or preparing food in small fires.

However, they saw Hermione walking in another direction and followed her. The girl continued her walk, turning her stare every once in a while, looking at the impoverished view, approaching her own hut. The boys saw that it was somewhat removed from the other huts and it was very small ... too much actually, but Hermione went in and closed the door behind her.

**-Play ****Evanesence ****'My Immortal'-**

Harry and Ron approached quietly and saw through the window inside. Hermione was sitting in what looked like a bed, its iron base was old and creaked under her weight. The mattress was far from new; it was more like a huge bag with straw and had a big handmade basket on it. Other than that, there was no more than a rotting wooden table and a couple of large wood boxes instead of normal chairs. The ceiling was made with brown sheet and, hanging from a nail on the wall of logs almost as battered as the table, a black, patched bag and an alcohol lamp.

Silently, Hermione began to eat the apple that the old lady gave her. She closed her eyes when the fruit crunched between her teeth and tasted her only meal. Hermione let out a groan of satisfaction as the apple juice sweeten her bitter mouth.

"I'm tired," Hermione said stroking her belly. "I was so hungry ... I thought I would faint. Surely you were hungry too, little one. I'm really sorry."

Harry felt his heart wrung with horror as he realized that the girl was starving. He didn't need to see Ron to know that he also felt the same. What seemed strange to Harry was that the place didn't look like it had any more residents than her. The alleged bed did not seem to fit for someone else. He wondered if anyone really would live with her. But Harry couldn't even imagine. He wouldn't stop Hermione's monologue. He wanted to find out...

"You know? Tomorrow marks one year," Hermione sighed sadly. "A year, the first anniversary of your grandparents' death. I'm surprised to see how lost I felt without them, my life went into a tailspin-" Hermione Continued eating the apple and chewed, but after that pause, the girl kept talking to her baby. "And it showed me once again that I have nothing to do here. I was hoping to offer you something, like a home. I even thought that after a few years, when you asked me about your father, I would have to come up with a good pretext. I would've told you a sweet lie: that your dad loved me but he died before I knew you were coming, we were both orphans and poor, but he was always by my side. I don't ... I don't want you to know the truth. I don't. You'd grow feeling responsible of something that, for starters, you're innocent...How'd I tell you I was a witch?" Hermione Continued, though her voice turned sadder. "How'd I tell you that while everyone enjoyed their lives with a loved one, I was ... those guys were cruel, evil. They always despised me but I never thought... how to tell you that you were conceived through rape, that they hurt me mercilessly, I don't even know who your father is!"

Harry instantly felt as if his blood froze as a single tear fell from Hermione's eyes, her gaze lost in the wall before her. "Who would have noticed? My friends never paid me any attention and then, what happened on the train… I wouldn't even dare to tell you that I'm... I-I'm not a killer. I can't understand why I tried doing such a horrible thing. After that I didn't know what to do. Harry was furious with me and with good reason, and I understand. I would have reacted the same way. If someone had tried to kill him ... and it happened so many times and I tried to keep him safe ... but he never listened. Now he must already be married. I miss him. Him and Ron. They made my life happy; they were my first friends, or at least I wanted to believe they were. I thought I would have their support. Obviously I would've had to lie about you because I didn't want them to feel sorry for me -it would've been so humiliating to tell them the truth. But I'm so far away now...

"At this point, none of them must remember me. I hope Luna hasn't said anything. I wanted to leave knowing that everyone, especially Harry, were fine. But then ... what happened that night-" Hermione shut her eyes tightly. "If I hadn't stopped at The Leaky Cauldron, if I had gone elsewhere, they wouldn't have followed me!" Hermione made a pause, but her voice was cracking, the same as her heart did, "And now I fear for you baby. They knew I was pregnant and still tortured me, they wounded me, the few things I had were burned to ashes, including my wand. But I didn't need it anymore. Either way, my magic wouldn't work. From the first time I was attacked."

Hermione kept devouring every last piece of apple as more tears ran down her cheeks.

Harry simply could not believe his ears. Horror and misery crossed and shook him furiously. His hands trembled as he closed them into tight fists wishing to strangle those who had causing her agony.

"I just wanted to run. Go away where nobody would know about us. When we got here, you and I, I thought it would be our end. I had that dream. I lost so much blood that I thought that that would be enough... I should have thrown myself into an abyss. And I just thought that Harry was ok and it was the only thing that gave me some peace."

Harry then began to understand. Now he could understand everything that Luna had said. Gradually it all made sense, but that only tore away at his soul slowly and painfully.

"Hadn't the explorers been there I think no one would've found us and we would've succeeded. I have no idea how they did it. This ecological reserve is always deserted, or so said the book I read." A drawing grin on the face of the girl, "then, Layha helped us. She cared for you and me, she understood what I was going through and was kind with me. No one except my parents had treated me with so much love. She said she would help us, and she did. Layha told me that I would never be alone again because I had her, but then she couldn't keep her promise, she left me too. She filled my mind and soul with dreams for a new life and said that being a mother would be wonderful, that I would have my own family - but death again snatched my fantasy away. I realized that it was nothing more than a stupid, vapid fantasy. Sometimes it was just that: fantasies. I imagined giving birth to you, bringing you to this world, hear your sweet cries, feeding you, singing a lullaby to you every night, listen to your first word, see your first steps, the excitement of you calling me 'mum'. I would've given you all the love that I have and that nobody wanted."

Hermione wiped her eyes with one hand and with the other started playing with what remained from her apple. She removed the seeds, threw them to the ground and ate the bitter inside of her fruit. The girl grabbed the basket's large handle beside her and watched it eagerly.

"But I have fear. With or without fantasies and illusions, I'm scared. I have no money to pay for a doctor, much less a hospital. How will I give birth? In what conditions are you going to come into this world? I know you're alive because you kick me a lot but how are you going to be born? I have fears because I don't know what effect the Cruciatus Curse had on you. What if you are born deformed because of it? What if you have a disease? Treatments must be very expensive and this place is very poor. I have no clothes for you, not to mention the food. I have never felt so lost, even when my parents died. People here have been very good with me: with a perfect stranger. What an irony! But even with leftovers I don't think I would keep you alive in case you need medication. I even had the idea that, after you were born, go to the town and...Sell myself. I still can't picture myself doing it. At day going to the collection and on evenings offer myself to the highest bidder. With no documents I can't do anything else. If they know of my existence, I would be deported and I can't apparate away anymore; my last attempt brought us here. What do I care if I prostituted myself if it means giving you something to eat? But even with all that you wouldn't survive in case you are born with a desease. Malfoy was right: No society would accept what will surely be born abnormal, but if you are born in such state it'll be only be because of him, not because you come from me."

All that Harry was listening to, hit him with cruelty, but hearing that Malfoy had something to do with her situation, angered him in a way he had never experienced. Not even the hatred he developed towards Cho was comparable with what Harry felt in that moment. Ron let out the word 'bastard' in a whisper, almost imperceptible.

"You're not at fault, my angel," continued Hermione. Apparently she hadn't heard Ron. "You don't have to live in such misery. You don't deserve it!" Hermione's voice rose in frustration mixed with helplessness. "You're a good little baby I'm sure, but I have nothing for you, but my hands are empty!" She observed her own hands that held the basket and placed it on her lap. "I had thought this basket could be your crib," Hermione inspected the basket, measuring that thing she'd made with her now calloused hands. "It's large and sturdy enough for you to sleep there during your first few months. I did it myself. Layha taught me. I had a hard time doing it. It just needs something soft and a blanket for you. I chipped my hands many times but it was worth it."

Hermione spent a few moments in silence while inspecting the basket, lost in her own thoughts that wandered in search of a solution to their problems. Harry was tempted to break inside to yell that he loved her and wouldn't forsake her - to embrace her and not lose her again. In fact, he was going to move from the window when Hermione spoke again and he didn't.

**- Play 'Fix you' Coldplay****-**

Hermione's face suddenly lit up, as always she had a great idea trickling from her mind.

"I think I know what to do, little one. We must stick to the original plan," Hermione put a finger on her chin, as if trying to solve an equation, and again her honey eyes brightened, wandered to the wall in front of her. "I shouldn't have wasted time, I shouldn't have stopped. It's still early. If I hurry, we'll reach the village in time. The market isn't removed until dark. We will bring the basket and we'll sell it. Perhaps someone will pay us enough for a good meal." She closed her eyes as her mind tried to imagine and recreate the taste of food with happiness. "A delicious, hot soup, a good piece of meat with vegetables and a soft piece of bread and cold soda. I'm so hungry!" She said sadly.

Hermione sighed and opened her eyes, looking at the same point as before. She removed the basket from her lap and picked up the black shawl that was draped over the bed making the job of a pillow, and put it over her shoulders and back. Her eyes had the same firm and strong decision she possessed before the death of her parents, determinate to go through with her plan. "Not far from there is a strange berry, whose roots are highly poisonous. They are surrounded by fences but we'll jump it if needed. It seems that, after all, having studied herbology and potions will gave us a reward. I knew it was important to study. The berries will be our dessert and with the roots we'll prepare a strong infusion. This time we will succeed. We'll take the infusion. We'll go far, as far as you and I can ... and we'll drink it."

Harry began to shake. What he heard felt like a bucket of ice water, freezing him on the spot. The tone of Hermione's voice made Harry feel a despair and an incredibly agonizing depression. The brunette wasn't talking to her baby anymore, her sad tone disappeared even. Her voice was a happy resignation, like _'__a promise of happiness, as if something wonderful was going to happen__.'_With these words Luna had said what she felt the minute she made contact with Hermione when she went to visit her.

"It will be our last meal; our last dessert. Since we left Hogwarts I haven't eaten well, even before because I hardly ate. I was so nauseous!" Hermione grimaced in disgust but smiled nonetheless. She herself was surprised to feel she could smile so honestly. "If we hurry, we will arrive on time. Maybe we'll eat today and today we're leaving. Tomorrow is Christmas and we will have our gift, as every year. I have never received a gift as beautiful, as significant and convenient. The last but the best. It will be beneficial. This cabin will be empty for someone who needs it more. The air I breathe, someone else will breathe it. You and I, little one, will take a long trip and we won't return. We will leave these abused, battered bodies and go with my parents and Crookshanks. I am sure that, wherever they are, they'll be waiting with open arms. No one would beat or torture us ever again. We won't feel hungry, cold, pain, or sorrow. Let's go to a nice place where none of that exists. We're going to be with our family, to be with those who loves us. I was the only remaining piece of the puzzle that is now complete. I can leave peacefully because behind me I leave nothing. Harry is ok and for me that's enough. I refuse to be alone any longer. I think I was punished enough. I paid my debt and I will claim my right to make with my life and my body whatever I deem needed or right; I've earned that privilege! And I'm absolutely sure mum and dad agree with me. They've always supported me. I'll leave and you're coming with me. I won't leave you here alone in only God knows what conditions, I won't find out. Nothing ties me to this world, nothing. Let's call death, let's shake hands in peace. There is nothing to fear, it's just a cycle, a cycle that closes. It's part of life. I'll leave happy, I'll go quietly. I have no hard feelings for anyone. I want my soul to be clean, to go with dignity. This is the most beautiful act I could have archived in my life. It's the most beautiful gift I could've received."

Slowly, Hermione was standing and sighed with emotion, elation even, and took the basket. She was exhausted, but with her new purpose, she could take the little energy she had left. That new purpose filled her heart with a hope she thought had long gone.

As if they had been petrified, Harry and Ron were left where they were, standing outside, unbelievably still. The horror of all that they had heard, had them frozen on the spot at what Hermione planned to do, and from the happiness of her tone in which she spoke. It seemed completely unreal, as if watching and listening to a complete stranger. It wasn't the Hermione they met, so strong and brave. She wasn't the Hermione that lectured them for not doing their homework on time and for not studying enough. She wasn't the Hermione that reproached, and sometimes laughed at the jokes and occurrences of the Weasley's. That girl in the hut wasn't the Hermione that fought furiously when the Battle of Hogwarts fell on them.

Instead, Harry saw and heard a Hermione that asked only one single thing: dying to be happy.

"It's time to go, my angel. I have faith, I have hope that everything will turn out well," and Hermione faced toward the door. A single tear fell from her bright honey eyes...

**- ****TO BE ****CONTINUED -**

**A/N: **I won't say anything about this chapter, I only ask you all to leave a review and tell me what you think of it.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to all of you for keep reading and for leaving your reviews. A special thanks for my great beta, **Alex** (the lost tree, in tumblr,) for her excellent help. Don't forget to leave more reviews and I hope you like the way I'm managing events. For those who want revenge... you'll have it.

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**Chapter 9**.

A grievous, inner voice shouted at Harry that he had to stopped her, that he shouldn't permit her to go anywhere and he obeyed that instinct without a second thought.

Before Hermione could even reach the door, it opened with a strong blow inward and the girl shouted. She thought, for an instant, that it had been the wind, but before her dampened eyes, Harry's disillusionment charm faded, letting himself be shown and right behind him stood Ron, both with wands in hand aiming at the front.

Hermione was terrified. Her mind worked words, ideas and images that were struck and collided like a stampede of horses out of control. Immediately her fear sprouted out of each pore of her skin, in waves of silent panic. Before her, Harry and Ron had furious looks, but not for her, but for which she intended to do. Hermione believed that she was trapped, that they had found her and they would make her pay for even daring to pay Luna a visit, even if innocently but she did couldn't even imagine how they hit upon her, much less that both Harry and Ron had listened to each word that were directed to the intimacy in which her baby rested.

"You're not going to go anywhere!" said Harry with barely contained fury. He hadn't realized that, unconsciously, his wand was pointed at Hermione, he was just desperate to do something to stop her and whatever he had in his hands - it could have been a snake and he wouldn't even notice- was out of his mind.

"W-what? H-how did you find me?" the girl stuttered, her voice was broken out of pure fear and her hands began to tremble.

"You shouldn't have left!" reproached Ron, but at least his wand did not aim at her.

"And you won't leave again!" added Harry.

They didn't know that their attitude had Hermione at the edge of the hysteria. She wanted to make it seem as if what was happening was normal, but she couldn't. It surpassed her because she would've never imagined that in such an isolated place, anyone would find her, not to mention the threat Harry made the last time they were face to face.

Harry and Ron, upon not knowing how to fight with their own fear, they acted with aggression, purely instinct, and all they registered was the urgency to stop her. Hermione didn't deserve it, but they treated her with hostility, and the girl sought words to excuse herself and offer them an apology, so trying to piece herself back with the little braveness she had, Hermione started to speak in a pacifying tone.

"No, I... I'll leave, but I am going to get back here," she looked into Harry's green orbs, silently asking for clemency. "T-this is my home. I left because... because-"

"It doesn't matter," interrupted Harry. "You're going to come with us," his voice sounded threatening to the girl's ears and Hermione was afraid that they wanted to take her to Azkaban.

"Why? Are you going to take me to Azkaban?" she asked fearful and Harry was going to say something else but Hermione raised her voice to try and dissuade them. "No! Don't do it! I... I am fine here. I already left... I moved away from you. It was what you wanted. I promise I won't bother you all again!" Hermione looked directly into the blue and confused eyes of Ron. "I know that I shouldn't have gone to see Luna, but... but it was to say hi. I didn't harm her. I hadn't touched her. Ok, I shook her hand, but it was to say good-bye!" Hermione spoke quickly, her words came out in a rapid succession and Harry and Ron couldn't quite understand, while the boys meant something else but the girl wouldn't stop talking. "After that I swore that would not return and I left. You cannot take me to Azkaban, I haven't done anything bad. I know that I deserve it for what I tried to do to Cho, but she is ok, isn't she? And I... I am pregnant and far away; there is no need to take me back... No! Listen!" Harry took a step towards her and Hermione stepped back two strides with the basket still in her hands. "I promise you -No! I swear to you that I won't return, ever, just... Just leave. In fact, if you want I can leave even further. Actually, I'll leave right now and... And I'll give you my word that you will not know about me... I am going to go so far away that I won't be an inconvenience for any of you ever again."

A little but content smile was forming in the corner of her dried lips.

"Hermione, we aren't going to carry you to Azkaban!" Harry seemed unable to understand why she thought such a thing, when everything he wished was to have her in his arms. The thing is that he still aimed at her with his wand, and the threat that some time Harry declared to Hermione if she returned, seemed to have been forgotten. What really struck his mind was the last thing that she told them: that she would go so far away that she wouldn't be an inconvenience. Harry understood what she referred to because they had listened what Hermione was about to do, but Harry would not permit it.

"Yes. You came for that. I beg you not to. Please!" Hermione begged.

"Harry didn't mean that, Hermione. We-" Ron tried to soothe her.

"Please!" she interrupted Ron. "Please, just leave!" Then, the girl looked into Harry's eyes and smiled at him nervously. "Go home, Harry. I'm sure Cho is expecting you," and now turned to Ron, "My regards to Luna. I... I have to go. It's getting late."

"NO!" shouted Harry advancing towards her, but Hermione stepped backwards, terrified that the boy was trying to hurt her. Unfortunately, Hermione didn't he see where she went because she didn't want to lose sight of their movements. With her hips she felt the edge of the table and tried to surround it blindly, her eyes were glued on Harry and to Ron advancing toward her, but she forgot that there were the boxes and encountering one of them, Hermione lost her balance and fell backwards before Harry and Ron's terrified eyes that watched her progress to the floor. Hermione shouted and freed the basket that fell at her side.

Harry called the girl and in two strides approached her, thinking that she and her baby would be injured seriously, but Hermione saw him approach and, still on the floor, dragging herself back, moved away until she came upon the wall behind her moving until she got to the corner of the cabin. She recoiled her body as much as she could, with an arm covered her face and with the other protected her enormous womb of seven months.

"NO! Please!" Hermione shouts were cushioned by her arm that there was placed set against her face, shielding herself if they tried to harm her. "Don't take me to Azkaban! Don't hurt me! Please, please!"

That Hermione thought that they would hurt her -they, Harry and Ron, the people that loved her the most and that would be incapable to place a finger on her- was the last straw. It destroyed Harry inside out.

Right then and there, they realized the terrible damage to which Hermione had been submitted. A fact more than decisive for Hermione to attempt against her life and that of her baby's.

Devastated for everything that had been revealed to him, Harry fell on his knees next to the woman he loved -and loves- more than anything in the world and letting his wand roll from his hand, Harry embraced her. His arms surrounded Hermione in an attempt on letting her know and feel that he wouldn't hurt her, but protect her at all costs. Hermione jumped when Harry's body made contact with hers. The green-eyed man, right there, unable to contain it any longer, broke right there. The force of his sobs made his and Hermione's bodies tremble from rage and pain. Realizing that his errors had had a terrible price that the girl had paid.

"Forgive me," his voice was broken. Harry begged for a pardon that didn't know if he would receive or not, kissing her head repeatedly. "Forgive me, forgive me, please. I beg you!" Hermione's body trembled uncontrollably, sobbing now, unable to avoid it. However, she couldn't believe what Harry said. "Everything... All of this is my fault... Merlin, what have they done to you? ... What have _we _done to you? Please, forgive me!" he cried.

Ron walked to the other side of Hermione and did the same thing that Harry: dropped on his knees and embraced her intently trying to make her feel that he regretted his own behaviour. Even having his doubts, the redhead did nothing to help her, despite everything, because like the rest of them preferred choosing Harry over her, preferred the easiest thing. Ron also cried, only silently and asked pardon to his friend.

Hermione closed her tormented eyes and started altering for which she listened. Still crying, Hermione removed the arm covering her face. Her eyes were red and puffy while waterfalls of tears fell. Harry felt the girl moving and took with both hands her soaked face. Both looked at each other's eyes, both pleading. Hers for mercy and his for pardon. Harry didn't know what to say, didn't have words to express how much he regretted all the damage and the suffering that she had to endure, wasn't able to tell her that seeing her in that state devoured his insides... Wasn't able to tell her how much he loved her, but he expected that his eyes, now reddened, could transmit the turmoil of emotions that burned him. "God! You're so beautiful!" sighed Harry.

Hermione's eyes widened in surprise and he tried to say something but he just couldn't, his throat suddenly went dry and when it seemed that he finally would utter the three words that were burning him since long, the girl shouted and she put her hands on the base of her swollen womb. Harry and Ron separated from her a little, alarmed because in that moment they recalled that the girl had fallen and that it could've caused her a fatal damage.

Almost without pause, Hermione freed another shout of pain and then a moan while her body doubled. Below her, an enormous puddle of a semi thick liquid started to dampen the floor. Hermione's face contorted in pain while her eyes were almost closed and her breathing agitated.

Harry again took Hermione's face with his hands so he could see her eyes. "Are you ok? What's wrong?" Harry's questions were desperate.

"What happening? Is something hurting you? Why are you wet?" Ron was full of panic.

"Yeah..." whispered Hermione. "I'm fine... nothing's happening to me. It'll be better if you both leave-"

"Of course not!" exclaimed Harry, making Hermione flinch. "What's happening? Where does it hurt?" Hermione shook her head. "We aren't going to leave you! You're not ok!"

"Ye-ah… I am fi-" Hermione moaned and the boys alarmed a lot more. She was obviously in pain.

Hermione didn't know what to do. She already had a plan, but the terror that they have found her, added to the fall, probably induced her into labor. She knew it because her water broke and now the panic overwhelmed her. It wasn't the time, it was too early... It couldn't be possible that she was going to give birth now... and she didn't have money for that.

"Go back with Chandre Yamun," said Harry to Ron and his friend startled himself without understanding. "Tell him what is happening. Ask him where's the closest hospital is!" But the redhead looked at him without even blink. Harry was already desperate and Hermione shouted again. "Now, Ron! Go!"

And with that, Ron reacted, nodded and with a 'crack' he apparated away.

"Who... is Chandre Yamun?"

"It doesn't matter now!" Harry's voice was smooth but he didn't free her face. She looked at him unable to understand. "You are going to be ok... you... we will take you to a hospital and... and there they're going to help you and-"

"No... I don't need it!" With a hand, Hermione withdrew Harry's hands from her face slowly. "I'm ok... You must get back to London." The girl separated from him and with difficulty, she got on her knees.

"No, don't move" Harry felt deeply that Hermione didn't accept his hands when Hermione stopped him and moved away from him. But the girl did not pay him attention; she pushed herself against the wall and, with the little force that remained her, the girl stood up and with both hands held her womb. Another contraction struck her and was thrown precariously on the table, but Harry held her before her weight could take her to the floor again. "Don't move!" shouted Harry exasperatedly. "We're going to wait for Ron and we'll take you to-"

"It isn't necessary!" interrupted Hermione panting.

"But you need a doctor-"

"I said don't!" shouted Hermione getting anxious. "I don't need your pity. Leave now!" and the girl pushed him away.

"I won't leave you!" responded Harry, but didn't dare to approach her. "You are not ok. You need help!"

"Help? What for? To give birth and then what? Are you going to take me to Azkaban? I won't let you!" And Hermione began to walk to where the basket was, bent down and caught it of the roasts. When she straightened, another contraction caused her to bite her lower lip to contain the shout that was blocked in her throat. Nevertheless, Harry saw her reaction and instinctively approached her with the intention to embrace her but she stepped backwards. "Leave... please. I came this far away with the only intention to leave you alone... you don't need to help me... is not your obligation!" Hermione gasped.

Hermione didn't know what to do to make Harry go away. His presence gripped her soul. Just remembering that they, Harry and Cho, would be married and that he should return along with Ron for the festivities, pained her. Then it occurred to her something that she believed would work. "M-My husband is about to arrive... He's in the fields. He's going to come for me and will take care of us... I won't be in your hair again, I swear."

Harry's first reaction was of confusion, but almost immediately composed himself. Knowing her, this was only her way to get rid of him but it was of no use. "That's not true," said Harry. "You aren't married. I heard you. I listened... I listened to everything that you said. You can't lie to me, Hermione."

"You eavesdropped?" Hermione's eyes widened for what it implied and now was even more horrified than before. "What did you hear?"

"Everything," Harry said with finality.

"Since... since when have you been here?" Hermione's voice was broken. Her misery was increasingly large just like the pain between her legs and new tears replaced to the ones that had just fallen from her tormented eyes.

"Ron and I saw you... we saw you in the fields and... we followed you here."

Hermione covered her mouth when she realized that they had spied on her, and that they listened to everything she'd told her baby believing that nobody would hear her. The contractions, the pain induced because of it, the emotions that struck her for what Harry had just said and the fear to give birth right there mixed and she felt that the world started to rotate uncontrollably.

"Oh God," murmured Hermione. She didn't know how much her sanity could endure. "You wouldn't... You shouldn't have listened-" Again, another contraction caused her to bite her bottom lip, now with so much force, that could even taste a metallic flavor that made her grimace and a thread of blood slipped from her mouth.

Harry ran to her and embraced her to keep her balance when he saw Hermione move precariously. In spite of that, Hermione fought to free herself from his embrace but this time Harry didn't let her. Hermione was resentful and furious for not being careful and speak her heart out, but she never thought someone would hear her.

"No! Let me go!" Hermione tried to push Harry off of her forcefully to no avail. "Leave me alone!" she continued fighting, but Harry embraced her even harder.

"I won't!' said Harry with conviction. "Ron will get back soon and we're going to take you to a hospital."

"I don't want your pity, I don't need it"

"It's not pity what I feel for you!"

"Yeah, sure!" Harry was taken aback from the tone of sarcasm in Hermione's voice in spite of the fact that it looked as if the girl were tortured; she may as well could be. "And now you are going to say you're sorry... don't be. You have nothing to be sorry for. You were right when you told me that our... friendship was worthless. This is my punishment for wanting to kill Cho. You are noble, Harry, but I'm telling you now and you better get it into that hard-rock skull of yours: it isn't necessary. You and Ron can go in peace.

_Can go in peace!_ repeated Harry unbelievably enraged. "You don't have the slightest idea of how distressed I have been for you! You can't even start to imagine for how long we've been looking for you! I just have found you and I won't leave you!"

Before Hermione could retort, a 'crack' sounded near them. It was Ron and he looked extremely agitated.

"Come on!" ordered the redhead who maintained what seemed a branch in his hand. "I have a portkey ready!" Harry looked at it without understanding and Ron added, "Chandre Yamun gave it to me. It will carry us to Arya Samaj, a magical hospital."

"No! I don't want to!" but Hermione's protests were useless. Harry passed an arm under her knees while his other arm maintained the back of the girl and carried her. Even when her weight was considerably greater than before, it wasn't a problem for Harry. Ron, wordlessly, took one of her hands so that she'll touch the branch, against her will; Harry barely could put a finger on the rough texture while Ron caught it the end of it and, in a sea of colors, they disappeared.

When their feet touched the ground again, Ron lost his equilibrium for a moment but regained it, while Harry, with Hermione in his arms, stood his ground like an oak tree. Ron stopped at nothing, but quickly sought someone that helped them and a woman in sky blue robes approached them. The redhead indicated his friend in Harry's arms and from there everything was moving as if in fast forward.

Two mediwizards arrived to them and they indicated the boys should follow, entered into a room with a single bed and while the mediwizards attended to Hermione, who was placed in the bed. A healer made Harry and Ron leave, both desperately trying to remaining next to the girl, who let out a shout of pain. The door closed in their faces and they had to wait in the corridor, both nervous to the point of wanting to shout to someone. Harry growled in frustration pulling at his hair, his eyes looked haunted and ready to sort everything, even to kick the door off its hinges if it comes to that. Ron wasn't better but couldn't think of anything else than waiting.

They were distressed; unable to do nothing more and then fifteen or twenty minutes that they remained out of the room, seemed like hours.

At last, one of the mediwizards stepped out of the room and faced them.

"Is any of you the baby's father?"

"No," Harry and Ron replied at the same time.

"Are you relatives?"

"No," they replied again.

"I need a relative."

"Why?" asked Harry.

"It's a requirement. We need a relative responsible or the lady's husband."

"Lady?" the entitlement was like a joke for Ron.

"Yes. The girl that is on the verge of giving birth!"

"Birth?" asked Harry alarmed. "No... she isn't married!"

"Then, who are you?"

"We're... I am a friend," responded Ron hesitant and he turned to see Harry.

"I... I'm..." Harry didn't know that to say. At this point couldn't see himself as Hermione's friend and preferred to express his wish. "I am her boyfriend!"

The mediwizard frowned in a gesture of confusion. Frustrated, the man preferred not to ask more questions.

"Fine, Mister..."

"Potter."

"Potter?" the mediwizard's eyes widened in astonishment. His face, like Chandre Yamun's had the surprise written in each faction. "Harry Potter?"

"Yes," replied Harry a bit out of himself, almost shyly, at being seen a different reaction than the rest of those he had encountered. Despite the mediwizard's surprised face, he seemed a bit more respectful and didn't look at Harry's forehead.

"I would like to say it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Potter, but in these circumstances, I'm afraid, it's not exactly pleasantly."

"What do you mean?" asked Ron now suspicious.

"That we have spoken with the lady... She's scared."

"I suppose that is normal" said Harry thoughtfully. "It's the first time she's having a baby."

"That's not it. What happens is that she told us her record," the mediwizard turned to see Harry with a look of worry that quite frankly, frightened him. "The girl was raped... Several times. She was hit and according of what she said, was tortured with the cruciatus curse, also several times. And that isn't everything." Ron gulped but Harry... Harry's face hardened. "She was whipped... her body presents long scars and apparently has lost a lot of blood, the lady believes that the baby can be born with problems because of it, over all, she has passed long periods of near starvation and the baby might be born with deficiencies." Harry and Ron now had horrified expressions, "also, she said she has fallen and it may have triggered the beginning of her labor because of it. It's still too early and the baby will be born prematurely, but I don't think that we can avoid it."

"They... they are going to be ok, aren't they? Both, she and the baby," the stress in Harry's voice threatened him to explode. He was getting anxious and the mediwizard wasn't helping at all. But the green-eyed man was aware that it wasn't the man's fault, though he could be a more hopeful in his diagnosis.

"I don't know... the baby's state seems to be reasonably fine in spite of the problematic pregnancy of the girl."

"And... What will happen then?" Ron was alarmed. "They are not going to die, are they?" Harry gave him a deathly glare, but the redhead had just asked what Harry couldn't dare to ask or denied. It was just the idea he couldn't bring to his mind, whatever the odds, he needed to believe Hermione and her baby would be fine.

"I can't say that because I don't know. The moment of the labor is still hours of distance. Giving a probability at this time is difficult. We have given her a potion so that the pain will lessen, and she has asked to speak with you."

"Is she awake?"

"Yes."

"And she knows everything that you told us?"

"Indeed," with a gesture, the mediwizard signaled the door, opened it and the three of them entered. Hermione was lying on the bed while the other mediwizard spoke with her in a low voice. The boys were standing together at the door looking at the girl whose face was paler than before and her forehead had pearls of sweat. It was obvious that, with deep breaths, Hermione tried to control the contractions while the mediwizard next to her pointed at a potion on the table next to the bed.

Hermione nodded and the mediwizard stood up; swiftly, walked directly to the door. Both looked at Harry and Ron, and the other mediwizard spoke to them.

"If there is any problem, you can call any healer around here. Do not stress the lady. We will return in an hour." The mediwizards left closing the door after them and Harry and Ron ran and sat next to Hermione.

"How do you feel?" asked Harry analyzing Hermione's face carefully.

"I'm fine," Hermione's voice was devoid of emotion.

"Do you need something?" Ron seemed ready to shout.

"Yeah."

"Name it and we'll do it," offered Harry immediately.

"Leave... I want you to go and don't say a word to anyone."

"Of course we won't leave you!" responded Ron almost indignant.

"Don't make this more difficult than it already is. I have enough problems."

"How do you think we are going to leave you alone?" Ron's tense voice rose by the minute. "Of course not! We've been looking out for you since Luna told us everything. We aren't going to separate from you again."

"She believes that we want to take her to Azkaban, Ron!" Harry said with emphasis and the redhead looked at him dismayed.

"What? Haven't you told her?"

"I couldn't! She wouldn't let me!"

"Neither do I need it!" interrupted Hermione somewhat irritated while a contraction attacked her hips.

"I'm tired of your stubbornness, Hermione!" reprimanded Ron almost furious. "And for what Harry and I heard, in spite of everything that has happened to you, you are the same old thick headed girl we knew!"

"Ron, that's enough!" Harry used a tone of warning towards the redhead, but he just ignored him.

"No! It's urgent that she finds out and you know it."

"This is not the time-"

"Then I don't know when you planned to tell her, Harry, but she has to be informed, preferably now!"

"Enough!" shouted Hermione already annoyed. "I don't want to hear whatever you have to say! It doesn't matter to me if you want me locked in Azkaban or not! I just want to be left alone!"

"What for? To let you try to kill yourself? I won't let you!" Harry said fiercely, taking her hand almost desperately. She tried to free her hand but couldn't.

"What does it matter to you?" Hermione's eyes fixed on him with resentment. "You have... have a wife that expects you... and as far as I recall, you didn't want me to approach any of you again. I don't understand what worries you."

"I am not married, Hermione!" the emerald eyed man said looking at her intently and saddened when he saw that she didn't believe him. "I didn't marry Cho and I won't. Ever."

"Luna told me that-"

"That was before," added Ron.

"Before what?"

Harry and Ron looked at each other and, in silence, they agreed that it was better to tell her everything once and for all, now that they had her attention. And that's precisely what they did: explain to her even the least detail of what happened after Luna watched her leave from her place in London.

Hermione was informed of each detail, each action that Cho Chang had done to have Harry. When Ron told her that the Asian girl was making 'amortentia' with three degrees of concentration, Hermione visibly panicked. She looked at Harry, alarmed and distressed, and with her hands inspected his face as if what they were telling her had just happened -her protective instinct kicked in. Tears fell from her preoccupied eyes to the mattress covering her and Harry extended his hand with tenderness to her cheeks to wipe her tears away; his heart swelled a bit with happiness when she didn't avoid the contact, but closed her eyes at his touch letting out a sigh of relief. But they didn't stop there. Both continued telling her of how Cho and Marietta were caught in the act, as well as the judgment and the reports- told her that they organized search groups to find her, with no results.

Hermione was so concentrated on what they were telling her that, for the time being, she had forgotten her contractions, most of all because the potion that she previously drunk lessened the pain until it was a slight inconvenience.

When they told her they arrived at Haryana by Charlie's assignment, Hermione understood how they found her.

"But, are you ok now? Did the potion have a secondary reaction?" Hermione asked dismayed and worried, even when she was the one that seemed to be in pain. "The mediwizards already checked on you? Did they gave you something to counteract the potion? We should-"

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" said Harry trying to appease Hermione and her usual and well known hysteria when Harry was hurt. "I'm ok now... thanks to you."

"But I didn't do anything!" she protested.

"Of course you did!" Harry took both her hands in his and kneeled at her side. "If you hadn't visited Luna she wouldn't had suspected anything. Only Merlin knows what could've been of me. Luna felt something very strange with your visit. When the both of you shook your hands, that simple action formed a connection that frightened her, but now I know the reason. Unconsciously, you transmitted to her a fear that you didn't recall because despite the fact that _Marietta,_" Harry said the name with disgust. "Modified your memory, could not erase your worry when you heard their filthy plan. If Charlie hadn't-"

"Charlie!" Ron yelled and Harry stood up again. Suddenly they remembered that they had to go for the potions that Charlie urgently required. "No! I'll go, Harry. You stay here with Hermione. I'll go with Chandre Yamun and then to the Burrow. I have to tell mom that-"

"NO!" shouted Hermione, startling Harry and Ron, "Don't tell them! Don't tell anyone you've found me!"

"Why not?" asked Ron trying to understand. "We have been worried about you. Mom is so upset-"

"Don't. I beg you not to," Hermione with difficulty, sat down on the bed, freed her hands from Harry's and held Ron from his shirt with clenched fists. "Don't tell them... nobody knows... No one... nobody knows that I... that I am-"

"But-"

"No, Ron!" this time, it was Harry who spoke and the redhead looked at him. "Don't say anything to anyone just yet!" the green-eyed pulled out the little pouch with the galleons to pay the old man and Ron took it. "Go to the burrow, leave the potions and come back here without saying a word about all of this."

"But mom is going to ask."

"You can come up with a tell tale. First of all, we have to be here and to see what we can do. Don't you understand Ron? This is for Hermione or it could be disastrous, and I won't allow it."

It was that moment when the redhead understood and nodded. He looked at Hermione and took the hands of the girl that still held his shirt.

"I won't say anything, Hermione. I'll be back soon." Ron turned to Harry , "Take care of her." The emerald eyed man nodded satisfied smiling a little and again, Ron turned towards Hermione. "I'm glad that we found you in time. I love you, Hermione," he then released her hands and hastily left the room, closing the door behind him.

Harry's senses shouted at him to do something...something that he longed to do. Before he could think about it, before the fear could invade him completely, Harry approached Hermione, who turned to see him when she noticed from the corner of her eyes he inclined towards her. The girl opened her honey eyes in surprise when Harry's face was an inch from hers -taking her cheeks with his hands, approached his lips to hers, and kissed her.

It was a warm, tender kiss full of emotion... a kiss that she had wanted and longed so much from him and Harry gave it to her so smoothly, so full of love, that it did nothing but make her happy. For the first time, Harry and Hermione kissed, both, trying to say wordlessly what they couldn't express.

**- TO BE CONTINUED -**


	10. Chapter 10

I'm really sorry for the delay. My beta -thank you so much, Alex!- and I were really busy, what with college and our jobs and all those thing that comes in our way and we just can't avoid XD But finally, here it is chapter 10 and I hope you all enjoy it. I know it's short but this story hasn't ended yet. We have 11 more chapters to find out what will happen with all the unsolved matters.

Please, read and review if you will :D

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**Chapter 10.**

It was like losing themselves for a moment, disconnected from the sad reality that they had been carrying. She'd let herself invade the warmth that Harry's lips gave to her battered soul, a kiss which, she thought, would never make her heart skip a beat with excitement. It didn't matter how badly they had treated her anymore, she didn't care that they were in a hospital; if there was a good time to die, it was now, lost in the love that Harry gave her through the most beautiful kiss Hermione could have received.

Harry broke the kiss gently and the brunette instantly felt the heat that enveloped her moments before abandon her skin, though her insides were jumping from euphoria while writhing in fear, all at once. Hermione opened her eyes and Harry looked at her intently as a single tear fell from his emerald eyes.

"I love you, Hermione ... I love you so much that it hurts," he whispered, his voice hoarse from his emotions.

The girl didn't know what to say, she was speechless hearing Harry's words; words that sounded like the most beautiful symphony, a symphony just for her -her beloved Harry. In his eyes competed many emotions, and she couldn't doubt him, Harry was like an open book and the mirror of his soul, his green sparkling eyes, told her the truth. She knew him so well. Hermione smiled tenderly and with one hand stroked the boy's cheek to remove the tears that fell. But she couldn't resist the urge -she had to feel it again. It was the need to feed off him, off his warmth, off his love. Hermione took the boy's face in her hands and pulled him to her, bringing his lips to hers and kissed him again as she had wanted for so long. And he didn't offer any resistance, but both melted at the intensity of that second kiss, wanting more than ever to get lost, freeze the moment for all eternity.

Unfortunately, a new contraction interrupted, and Hermione parted her lips from him abruptly with a whimper and again, Harry was thrown back to reality with the fears and horrors in which he was pushed when he heard her talking to her child.

"Are you okay?" He asked her tenderly, though greatly alarmed, he'd never been around a pregnant woman before, let alone somebody he loved greatly. "Does it hurt? Do you need something? I'll fetch a healer at once." He spoke quickly and was about to leave but Hermione grabbed his arm.

"No! No!" Hermione looked frightened, "don't go, don't leave me ... stay with me ... please!" she pleaded with him.

Harry smiled sadly and took the girl's hands in his and brought them to his lips for a soft kiss. "I can go for whatever you want," insisted Harry. "If you need something I'll go for a healer and get back at once. I won't be late."

"No," said Hermione in a calmer tone, "I don't need anything ... I'm fine."

Harry wanted to give her something. He knew she had not eaten more than a simple apple. Hermione could very well have read his mind because the girl said: "I'm not hungry, Harry." And he looked surprised. She gave him a slight smile, "the mediwizard gave me a potion for nutrients. I had anemia and seriously bad nutrition, but the potion took away my hunger. I mustn't eat anything yet ... at least until after giving birth."

Harry looked at her in silence. As he stroked her hands, he felt calluses on her palms and his beautiful green eyes searched the fingers of his beloved: her nails were short and a little dirty, the yolks were a little rough and those calluses did nothing but tell him how many times she got hurt in the work of collecting; her knuckles were in worse shape, the skin was cracked from dryness.

Suddenly he felt the need to know everything, to take from Hermione every detail, from the last time he saw her on the train, to tell him who had attacked her; and his blood began to boil with rage and indignation. Hermione noticed his sudden change of emotions. It was easy because she looked straight into his clouded eyes.

"Hermione ..." Harry did not know how to handle it. The healer told them that the girl was not to be stressed and, now that he and Ron told him what had happened, the brunette looked calmer, even relaxed and did not want to break the momentary peace. But it was important. He wanted to know. "All ...everything that Ron and I listened ..." Hermione turned her gaze away but the boy's hands grabbed her chin so they were face to face. "Is it true? Is it true what you said? I need to know."

"Are you ashamed of me?" she asked, her voice quiet, waiting for his verdict.

"What?" Harry, for a moment, didn't understand the question and he was going to reply but the girl continued.

"Are you ashamed to know that ... I was raped?" she struggled saying.

"What?!" This time Harry raised his voice while the girl was frightened and jumped involuntarily. "Of course not! I'm furious! How can you believe that I'm ashamed? I am outraged! I'm ... incredibly angry!" the boy was controlled, but Hermione's voice when he shouted, frightened her, as if he were about to scold her, made him feel like shit. Hermione still seemed afraid of him, so he took several deep breaths to control the anger that had built up until then. His voice came out almost in a whisper, in a prayer to her "You must tell me everything, Hermione. I will find those responsible... and I'll kill them ... it'll be slowly and painfully, they'll pay for what they did to you. This won't stay like this," he vowed.

But this only alarmed Hermione. " No! Don't! I beg you!"

"But Hermione ... they need to be punished."

"No ... please. You'd only get in trouble and I'm not worth it."

"YOU are worth everything! You are, Hermione. They will not be left unpunished."

"If you do something, if anyone finds out, you'll just manage to bring it all to the forefront!" the tone of the girl urged him to analyze her point of view, "I could not show my face in the open again. My baby and I would be criticized ... marked ... humiliated. Don't do it, please Harry."

"But-" he tried to argue.

"No, Harry. Killing them is not going to fix it. What's done is done, and it can't be changed anymore," she said with finality.

"You were going to kill yourself. Was that going to solve it?"

Here Hermione could not reply. She wanted to say yes because, after all, it would've solved the hunger and poverty that were meant to her and her baby, but deep down she knew it was not a real solution, that all the damage that had been caused wouldn't be erased, though it was the only resource she could lay hands on.

So Hermione was saved from having to tell Harry anything when the mediwizard who attended her from the start, entered the room. He asked Harry to leave while examining the girl, and he did. What made him restless was that, for some reason, it took a lot of time.

Actually, he waited a while. It had been more than twenty minutes waiting outside, when Ron came running ... and after him, was Luna. Harry looked at his friend with reproach.

"Why did you bring her, Ron?"

"Don't scold him, Harry!" said Luna. "I forced him to bring me with him."

"What, did you threaten him with not shagging him again?" Harry was so angry that the question escaped his mouth between play and anger. Ron turned as red as his hair, half angry and half ashamed, but the blonde had a proud stance in her features and spoke as she was used to: with the truth and not even a little shame, exactly just what Harry felt whenever Luna spoke.

"Yes ... in fact, it was."

"I can't believe it, Ron,"" Harry groaned, his hands running through his hair in frustration.

"I promised not to tell anyone, Harry ... And that's what I did."

"So ...?"

"I know Ron," Luna stepped forward to her boyfriend's defense. "In fact, he said nothing. I don't know why he brought me here, I just told him that if he left, he had to take me along or we wouldn't have sex anymore."

That last thing, Harry thought, he did not need to know. He checked his watch. Ron had left for more than an hour and half that the mediwizard had gotten into the room to get Harry out.

To pass the time they were in the hallway, Ron told him it that he went with Chandre Yamun, who gave him the potions, and apparated outside the Burrow. He went into the kitchen where his mother asked for Harry, but Ron just said they had recognized Harry in the magic community and were organizing a dinner and the redhead had to return for him. He left the potions to his mother's charge asking her to contact Charlie and he was out before she could get the chance to interrogate him more. As soon as he left the house, Luna arrived and intercepted him. When he told the blonde he had to leave, the girl threatened him, and since he wanted to return soon, had to take her with him.

"Personally, Harry," Ron said, "she deserved to know ... to come with me. If it had not been for her, we would not be here ... Or at least you."

"Yeah, you're right" Harry admitted.

"Can you tell me what we are doing in a hospital?"

The blonde's question filled them with fear. She didn't know why she was there and did not really know where to start. Harry and Ron looked doubtful but, again, the mediwizard showed up.

The door of the room opposite them opened and the mediwizard approached them. Luna tried to see who would be inside, but Ron would not let her catch sight of the room's content and kept silent as Harry kept seeing the mediwizard, whose face was impassive.

"It's a question of time," the man said nervously playing with his wand. "Just checked the lady. She and her baby are stable." Here Luna frowned, "the pain will come back very soon. We can't give her more potions but she's almost ready. I'll go for the other healers and be right back."

"Can we get in?" Asked Harry.

"You can, but until I return. Then, you'll have to leave." Harry and Ron agreed and the mediwizard left.

"Do we tell her or Luna first?" Ron asked fearfully. "She's gonna kill us if she finds out Luna is here."

"You should've of thought about that before!" Harry replied distressed.

"Who is going to give birth?" Luna did not understand and the anxiety was eating at her, "I hope it isn't a girlfriend of yours, Harry ... or worse," she turned to look at Ron, "yours, Ronald, because right here I will check out how well I perform the Cruciatus Curse."

Ron was so nervous that he opened and closed his mouth and said nothing but shake his head continuously. Harry thought it best to enter the three of them all at once: what would have to happen, happen.

"Follow me," said Harry nervously.

When Harry went in, he saw Hermione's face with the same pale tone in her skin like before, but it was obvious that the pain returned, for her face contorted slightly. Still, the girl smiled ... and the smile faded to accommodate her shock when Luna came after Ron.

"Merlin's beard!" Luna exclaimed when she saw Hermione, and her enormous belly. The two girls had their mouths wide open and Ron and Harry looked from one to the other.

Luna did not wait and ran to Hermione, Harry and Ron pushing in the process. When caught, Hermione opened her arms to her but her face was still surprised.

"We were so distressed!" said Luna. Her voice cracked as if to cry. "Where were you when you left? Why? How can you possibly be pregnant? Oh, Thank Merlin you're alright! Wait-" Luna released Hermione from her embrace to inspect the brunette's face ... and then to Harry ... and then Ron. "When were you going to tell me? When did you find her? Where are we?"

Hermione was completely silent. She looked at Ron and he got even redder than he already was.

"It's a long story, Luna." Harry intervened and put his eyes on Hermione. "Forgive him, Hermione. He said nothing to anyone, but you know how Luna is ...however, she does not know anything."

Hermione stared at Luna's face and could read the concern and relief mixed in her blue eyes. She turned to Ron and he looked down with sorrow.

"It's all right, Ron. It doesn't matter," Luna looked back at her and reached for the blonde's hand. "If it weren't for her, Harry might have died, or worse. Thanks, Luna. Thanks for taking care of him. You kept your word and I owe you for his sanity. It's a debt that I just don't know how I'll repay."

"No, you don't need to. Harry is my friend. All I wanted was to find you." Luna placed a hand on the girl's stomach "Why? ... Why are you pregnant and for how long? Is that why you looked so bad when you came to see me? That's why you left."

"It doesn't matter now, Luna," Harry intervened, moved by the encounter of the two girls. Hermione then gasped from pain as she closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing.

"Are you okay?" Luna asked.

"Yes" replied Hermione, a little tired.

As soon as Hermione said 'yes', two mediwizards and two healers entered and asked Harry, Ron and Luna to leave because they would need to induce her into labor. Ron and Luna were already exiting and Harry, though he had wanted to stay, noticed that the mediwizard just waited for him to get out.

"No, Harry. Don't go. Don't leave me!" Hermione cried pleasingly, raising a hand for him to take it. The green-eyed boy looked at the mediwizards and they nodded. Harry hurried to her side and grasped her hand firmly, smiling.

"I'm here. I won't leave you!" he promised.

From thereon, all were sounds and lights. One of the mediwizards worked his magic on the girl as the healers placed her bent knees and opened her legs widely with the new additions on the bed triggered by wand as to help Hermione give her support and push.

As Harry stood next to Hermione, he watched from the head of the bed, feeling his blood rush to his face and a tremendous heat surged from him when he realized that he could be able to see what he would have liked to contemplate but under different circumstances. Now Hermione was naked from the womb to her toes.

He was at a loss, watching powerless how the love of his life was in such an awkward and uncomfortable position, but the feeling faded when Hermione screamed and squeezed his hand. He could swear he heard one or two bones crack. Harry turned to admire her and the girl's face flushed, perspiration gleaming all over her brow. One of the mediwizards inspected between her open legs and spoke from there, "She's ready."

Harry had no idea what was wrong with him. He watched as the mediwizard inspected something so private that Harry couldn't help but be irritated with him beyond belief, but then had to be strong: it wasn't the time for such stupid feelings. Hermione needed assistance and that was the mediwizard's work.

To Hermione the transition was overwhelming and terrifying. The only thing that gave her some sanity was knowing that Harry was at her side.

Too soon, in her opinion, came the order to push and Hermione obeyed. She would have done it anyways because it was what her body was demanding to do: push because otherwise she would explode. Harry, meanwhile, offered her sweet words of encouragement and admiration, using his free hand to dry the girl's forehead. The roots of her hair were damp with sweat and when she stopped pushing, her breathing made her chest rise and fall rapidly.

Now Hermione was in total pain. She felt that at any moment her body would break in half. Huge tears leaked out from her half opened eyes at the suffering that was submitted at the very act to childbirth and felt her baby closer and closer to the end of it's journey. However, Hermione could find the strength to speak.

"Thank you, Harry!" panted Hermione, "thanks for staying with me."

"How can you say that? I wanna be with you. Being with you makes me happy."

A mediwizard interrupted with an order for Hermione to push and she did. Panting, the girl spoke again after exertion. "Thank you, Harry ... I love you."

He did not answer, but freaked out. Those two words ... at such a crucial moments... and he just looked at her with his mouth open like an idiot ...

But Hermione didn't have the time to think. Again, came the order to push.

"It's almost here!" cried the Mediwizard. "I can see the head. Again, push!"

And with the greatest effort, gritting her teeth, giving the final push as the pain threatened to break her, pushed the hardest she could.

Harry looked at Hermione's face furiously contorting ... and then her back dropped onto the bed, panting and weak; her eyes almost shut from exhaustion ...

And moments later, came to their ears, _the_ sound; a sound that seemed angelic, the sound that life makes anyone realize that life was possible despite anything. The harmonic sound of someone who had just arrived in a world that was beautiful and cruel at the same time; a crying baby who loudly announced itself to the whole world it finally arrived.

**- TO BE CONTINUED -**

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**A/N: **I hope the next one won't take too long. Thank you all for your patience and for your reviews! :D**  
**


	11. Chapter 11

I have to say I'm sorry it took me all this time to update. I've been reading a lot (The Mortal Instruments, Divergent, The Maze Runner, etc) and almost forgot that I had this fic in progress XD I'm really sorry, but here it is, finally, the next chapter. Thanks to my wonderful beta,** Alex** (the lost tree) for her help and patience. I know this chapter is shorter, but needed. You may already noticed that the story goes a little faster, instead of taking things slowly, but I was in a hurry to tell the story as quickly as I could. Please, read the note at the end of the chapter.

Now, enjoy!

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**Chapter 11**

"It's a girl!" announced a healer.

Hermione released a breath she didn't know was holding and almost began to cry herself at the same time as her baby. The green-eyed man was looking at the healers who carried the baby to a padded table to make a proper inspection to the child while the mediwizards finished healing Hermione.

After a few charms and lights coming from the healers' wands on the baby, they wrapped her in a blanket and in the arms of what seemed to be the healer in charge, approached the brunette who extended her arms to meet her daughter. For a moment, Hermione observed the healer's face noticing she was somewhat distraught as she approached, but smiled at the new mom as she gave her, her little piece of happiness, and said: "Congratulations, ma'am," Hermione took her baby, "it's a beautiful and healthy child."

Hermione uncovered her naked daughter and revised her small body: it was actually so diminutive; she had a small golden-brown patch of hair, her skin was red and swollen; she was finishing her little cries but her eyes were closed; her tiny hands in fists moving uncoordinated the same as her legs. Hermione caressed her legs with tenderness and longing, checking that her baby was complete and had everything in place. Once the brunette made sure of it, she looked up at Harry and he seemed to be mesmerized to see someone so tiny. It was the first time his bright green eyes appreciated a newborn baby. Hermione looked at the healer and Harry turned to her when she asked, weak and tired.

"Is she healthy? Does she have anything, like an illness or some kind of deformation?"

"No, ma'am," the healer assured Hermione with conviction, "your baby is healthy enough, despite being premature. It's a beautiful little witch."

"But ... but I was ... I-" she couldn't bring herself to describe all the anguish she had gotten into.

"The mediwizard informed us about your condition," the voice of the healer came gravely. "The Cruciatus Curse could have hurt you and the baby, but her magic is strong."

"My...baby's magic?"

"No, yours," When Hermione looked at her blankly, the healer had to explain with a slight smile. "The pregnant witches' magic stops working properly because, unconsciously the baby occupies it almost entirely from the very first moment of conception. It is a natural part of the process. I guess you had problems with your wand."

Hermione nodded.

"So," Harry spoke softly but firmly "her magic protected it? Like a shield?"

"That's right." At the healer's words, all the weight that had caused her fears and tribulations at the thought that her daughter could be born sick or weak, Hermione let out a sigh of relief and closed her eyes, raising her gratitude to whoever was watching over her and her newborn baby. "Unfortunately, we have to hold them here until further notice."

"Why?" asked Hermione, distress coloring her words.

"Because your baby was born at seven months. Although apparently healthy as can be, she has missed two months of development. We need the baby to stay here to make sure the rest of her organs function properly."

"So, I'm going to stay here too?"

"At the moment, yes," said the Mediwizard that had just healed her, moving her legs down to their original position and covering her with a sheet. "We need to have them both under observation because, as you know, your injuries were severe. The fall could not give much of a problem at first, but with your bad nutrition, or lack thereof, it unleashed other complications, starting with the baby's nutrition."

Harry looked at the Mediwizard while surrounding Hermione's shoulders with an arm and she looked worried. "You may need to stay here a week or two as we see the progress of both ... maybe, with treatment, the scars on your back can be healed almost completely and at the same time we see that the baby girl is equally stable to go home." The Mediwizard smiled at Hermione, who still looked apprehensive, "You don't have to worry. These are only security measures for both of you. We'll take the child to the nursery so we can monitor her progress and bring her back when you have to feed her. Meanwhile, the healer," he pointed at the woman that was handling the baby, "will help you with the feeding instructions."

The second Mediwizard reached his arms out to Hermione, but she didn't seem to want to let go of her baby, though she knew that had to. Before giving it to another's arms, the brunette kissed her baby's forehead and cradled her on the Mediwizard's arms.

"How are you going to name her?" asked the Mediwizard.

Hermione blinked a few times as though she hadn't understood the question. It had never occurred to Hermione. Not even once, had stopped to think about it. She didn't believe that they'd really were going to live for that moment, so she never thought of names for her baby. Hermione felt that, if they died, it would be useless. However, she spelled it so naturally... like saying 'hello'.

"Eleanor ... Eleanor Jane-"

"Potter," said Harry confidently.

Saying his name came out just as naturally. He felt the need ... no, the _desire_ to say it, almost tasting it with all that the action implied, of expressing his feelings and desires, longed for it more than anything.

With wide eyes, Hermione looked at Harry's face in utter surprise. She wanted to say something but couldn't, as if all of a sudden her throat had been blocked at what Harry just said and wondering tons of question and doubts in the blink of an eye. The green-eyed man looked straight into Hermione's eyes, trying to make her see and feel that his love could split in two; his eyes saying more than a bunch of words with that simple action looking into his love's eyes.

"Very well," intervened the Healer on their sudden silence, "I'll take little Eleanor ... Eleanor Jane Potter," she muttered, then looked into Hermione's eyes and spoke softly, "I'll get her back in time to eat. Meanwhile, try to sleep. You'll need it, ma'am."

With this, one of the mediwizards immediately went out and hurried voices were heard... And moments later, shouts of joy came to the ears of Harry and Hermione, who smiled at the euphoria of their friends. The mediwizard with the baby and the two healers exited after a couple of instructions and Ron and Luna entered.

Both started to ask questions and congratulate Hermione, but while they talked, the brunette closed her eyes. She was so exhausted that sleep overcame her.

When Harry saw that Hermione had fallen asleep, he motioned to Ron and Luna to speak softly.

They planned what they had to do: there was just one hour left for Christmas there in New Delhi, and four in London and they still had to report to the Burrow before anyone could suspected about their long absence but had no idea how to explain what had happened or how to escape the interrogation already Harry and Ron seemed to hear from the mouth of Molly Weasley for that matter. However, Luna herself came up with an idea, not for nothing she _was_ in Ravenclaw house. First, Luna went home to tell her father that she had discovered a new breed of gnomes and would return the next day. When she got back to the hospital, Apparating there nearly an hour later, Harry and Ron went back to the Burrow. The green-eyed man didn't want to leave Hermione's side, but knowing that Luna wouldn't be apart from her side, reluctantly agreed to leave, upset and worried, but not before talking with the receptionist to arrange the bill for Hermione and his new baby girl.

* * *

It had been nearly four hours since Harry and Ron left when Hermione woke up. She opened her eyes and blinked several times feeling confused and disoriented. Instinctively she put a hand on her belly just to panic as she realized that she had only a slight bulge left after her delivery. Hence, instantly recalled what had happened and turned to look at Harry, but did not see him. In his place was Luna with her head on her shoulder, asleep. It reminded her a lot of Hedwig.

Fear suddenly struck her about what had happened and the absence of her baby did nothing but to worry her even more. Hermione felt incomplete, empty. Her tortured mind aggravated further ... but she knew it was normal. The healer had explained to her: the expulsion of the baby was such a change in her body that all her system would resent it: postpartum depression.

The changes experienced in the months of pregnancy process and the suddenness of the void in her womb, would provoke her anxiety and distress that would have to be handled once the baby started to be breast fed, which would make the connection, that once formed with the umbilical cord, solidify with breastfeeding.

Helplessly, Hermione started crying. Her light, but audible sobs woke Luna out of her slumber; this didn't worry the blonde but she smiled nonetheless. Silently, she rose from her chair and embraced the brunette who was startled for a moment, and then returned the hug. Luna said nothing, but let Hermione cry so she could calm down as she let the brunette use her for support, both metaphorically and literally.

Once she calmed down, Luna explained why Harry and Ron had to leave and Hermione sighed. The blonde asked her what had happened, wanted to know everything in her absence and the brunette didn't know whether to tell Luna or not. Not for lack of confidence in her but because she was embarrassed that someone else knew of her situation the entire time she was away, not to mention that Hermione had been raped.

Luna said that if she couldn't tell her at the moment, it wouldn't be a problem, but she'd be with her to support her.

Hermione sighed again, gathered all her Gryffindor courage and made Luna swear to not say a word to anyone -the blonde agreed and the brunette could not doubt it, not after having kept her word-, Hermione related absolutely everything, feeling the poison of her pain slowly dissipate.

* * *

**Play X&Y- Coldplay**

Ron was snoring -as always- and Harry could not sleep a wink. The green-eyed man was amazed to see his redheaded friend so smugly and relaxed in his sleep. But that's how Ron was. He already felt relieved to have found Hermione and that thought let him sleep peacefully, knowing that Luna was with her. Harry felt the same to a degree, but the situation in which they found the girl did not leave him alone. It was not the first time, thought Harry, that Hermione tried to commit suicide ... What if she tries again in his absence, thought Harry and again and again he had to calm himself down, reaffirming to himself that she wouldn't; that the baby needed her and Hermione wouldn't dare to take her life, that Luna was there to help ... that he would return for her soon.

The sheer tranquility of having found her in time, was marred with the knowledge of everything that the girl had suffered, but he swore he would never depart from her side again, ever. Also swore, with bile in his throat, that those responsible would be punished and there would be no mercy or pardon to them, whoever _they_ were. The only problem was to make Hermione tell him who _'they'_ are ... and in taking justice, try not put her on stand.

But he'd think about it later. The most important thing for him at that time was his beautiful girl...

Although they had found her in a deplorable emotional state, he couldn't help it. To him, Hermione looked really beautiful whilst pregnant ... when he saw her there after her fall, with red, puffy eyes, in old ragged robes, drenched in tears, with her tousled hair under the scarf ... but with her beautiful belly, she looked like an angel, as if a light aura surrounded her, and wondered if all pregnant women looked the same...

When Harry and Ron arrived at the Burrow, the Weasleys greeted them as if they had just returned from the village. Everything was normal. Molly, however, and as the boys feared, questioned them incessantly. They invented a series of celebrations and rituals in Harry's honor while they _were_ in the magic side of New Delhi when people realized who he was and blah blah blah. Surprisingly, Molly believed it and left them in peace but Ginny, who looked at them suspiciously, said nothing.

When dawn broke, the only thing Harry wanted was to go next to Hermione's side, but he knew better.

Without enthusiasm, Harry and Ron went down the stairs of the Burrow and into the living room with gifts in hand and breakfast was already on the crowded table; Remus, Tonks and Neville came to join the celebration and Molly served them.

As Harry seemed to be depressed (inside he felt the furious need to tell them that they had found Hermione) nobody suspected anything. Ron was again the same as always but, like his green-eyed friend, wanted to return next to Hermione and Luna. Unfortunately, the absence of his blonde girlfriend brought everyone's attention.

"Ron," called Ginny. Everyone in the room was opening gifts and the redhead, who was sitting on the floor next to Neville, looked at the youngest of her brothers, who was clearly cheerful for no apparent reason. "Wasn't Luna coming?"

Ron turned redder than his own hair, but Harry saved him from having to say something stupid.

"Surely she'll come later," Harry said impassively. "Yesterday she said she would be busy with her dad ... something about some gnomes, you know her," he said trying to convey aloofness.

"How odd," Ginny's tone was incredulous. "She didn't mention anything. When did you see her? You both left early yesterday-"

"I went to Luna's yesterday," said Ron a little nervously. "Uh ... after dropping Charlie's potions off-"

"By the way," said Harry trying to save Ron's neck and his, "Charlie already has the potions? How are the dragons?"

"Ah!" Bill gasped excitedly, "I contacted him. I gave him the potions as soon as he came out of the fireplace. At this time they should be better," Bill's scarred face brightened. "Charlie asked me to tell you that he was indebted to you both."

"I think that _we_ are the ones who are indebted to him." Ron's comment came innocently, but it made everyone look at him puzzled, especially since he was the only one to complain about having to do Charlie the favor. When the silence was tense, Ron, who was opening the gift that his parents gave him, looked up to find the eyes of everyone watching him with surprise. Harry, however, shot him a look of 'shut up', and the redhead looked frightened for a moment.

"But you didn't want to go. Why would you be indebted to him?" Ginny was definitely intrigued judging by the looks her brother and Harry were engaged in.

"What Happened was…." Harry spoke again to save them from a new stupidity, "is that in New Delhi some people recognized him, what with all the media and the fame. He is also famous now, remember?" Harry smirked at Ron, "Don't deny it, Ron. You love the attention."

Ron turned even redder, but did not comment. Most of those present laughed at Harry's remark and continued admiring the gifts and chatting. Ginny still looked at them with suspicion, but Neville distract her, to Harry's relief.

What Charlie had said, that he was indebted to them, gave Harry an idea. Soon Harry's revenge would be fulfilled and those responsible for the entire trauma Hermione experienced would pay.

**-TO BE CONTINUED-**

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**A/N:** I know, I know. Harry and Hermione hasn't had interacted, but hey! If I were her, I'd feel awkward and out of place after going through all that trauma. A woman's heart is deeper and misterious than the ocean: she still need to sort things out and you'll find that in the next two chapters. Nothing is as easy as it looks. Life taugh me that in the hard way.


	12. Chapter 12

I know it's been a while since my last update, but my beta and I have been pretty much busy with college and, frankly, I'm starting to considering I rather be a vagrant than let my teachers make my life a living hell. My term ended not long ago and it's about to start again, but I hope the update of the next two chapters won't take too long. Again, thanks to my wonderful beta, **Alex**, who is as stressed as I am. Hope you like this chapter. Please, read the note at the end of this chapter because it's important.

Thanks and enjoy!

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**Chapter 12.**

Before noon, Harry and Ron excused themselves to the family for having to leave. They said they had to go see Luna. Ginny offered to accompany them but Neville stopped her, tenderly saying he wanted to spend time with her alone. Harry mentally thanked his friend for saving them from lying to Ginny. What would he have to say or do to keep Ginny out of his business? Harry knew he'd need to explain himself once this trance is over.

Remus entertained them a few minutes asking him and Ron if he was missing something because they were acting really weird. Harry regretted that they had to feign obliviousness and after they reassured him that everything was as normal as always, he called Dobby and Kreacher out of the burrow. He and Ron ordered them that it was imperative for the two elves to return to Black Manor to fix two of the rooms for when they returned and not to reveal anything to anyone, maintaining and reinforce the security measures, the highest possible safety in 12 Grimmauld Place.

The elves disappeared with a loud 'crack' and Harry and Ron disappeared too.

When they reached Arya Samaj, the magical hospital in New Delhi, Ron went to see Luna and Hermione while Harry looked for the mediwizards who treated Hermione and the baby. He knew they both need to have a conversation about what had happened and the future references to Hermione's clinical story would be needed to clarify some things up if Harry wanted to condemn the bastards that attacked her, he'll need back up.

Once he found the mediwizard, he spoke with all the seriousness possible. Harry showed him that it was necessary for the Mediwizard to not reveal information about Hermione and the connection to him. The Mediwizard said that, in situations as serious as sexual abuse and torture, hospital residents must raise a complaint at the Ministry of Magic in India by the complexity of the case and pregnancy. Harry stressed out his reasoning to the Mediwizard, about the need to not say anything, more for her than for him. He made him see that for Hermione it would be humiliating and had to tell the man how little he knew. He told them of the infamy that Cho planned to trap Hermione and that the Asian girl was already convicted, that Harry didn't know who the attackers were and that he was more than willing to do everything in his power to hunt them down and give them the punishment those rapist deserved. Harry almost got to the point of bribing the Mediwizard as long as the man could keep his mouth shut, but in the end and after he explained his bit with fury in those emerald eyes of his, it wasn't necessary. The Mediwizard understood, albeit reluctantly, agreed to talk to the others who were aware of the situation to be silent. For the first time, Harry was glad to be famous and well regarded by the magical community because it gave the guarantee of being trustworthy, a factor that persuaded the Mediwizard and agreed to keep it quiet. Harry, in return gladly gave him an autograph for his children at the mediwizards request.

With some relief, Harry came to the room where Hermione was.

When he entered, he saw Hermione sitting on the bed with a couple of pillows supporting her back -dark circles under her tired eyes told him all the stress she had endured- while looking at Ron and Luna, sitting on a couple of chairs next to the bed. The blonde was holding the baby and both the blonde and the redhead, were blushing furiously. Hermione smiled at them kindly, as though they were the parents of her baby because in their eyes shone a dreamy, paternal stare, almost in awe.

Harry was relieved to see that Hermione smiled in spite of all that she had to get through, and when the girl noticed his presence, turned towards the entrance and saw Harry ... and his smile faltered. He looked at her with so much love, a look that she had seen a few times before the war, that the girl did not doubt him, but her stomach twisted at the sight.

"You'd better go," said Harry detaching his gaze from Hermione and looking at the couple murmured, "Molly and Ginny must be wondering why you both haven't returned yet; especially you, Luna."

It was then when Luna turned to him and noticed that her eyes were slightly swollen. Harry frowned and was about to ask something but the blonde interrupted.

"But, what about Hermione?" she choked out.

"I'm staying," said the green-eyed with a nod, as if reassuring her that everything would be ok, or that he was trying to reassure himself, he didn't know.

"What if they start questioning your absence?" Ron asked "What should we say?"

"Tell them I'm at Grimmauld place. Dobby and Kreacher already know what to do. Say that, if they don't find me it's because I found someone who can give me news about Hermione and don't know when I'll return, but I'll be in touch."

"We will," accepted Ron while Luna gave the baby to her mother. The redhead turned to look at the brunette, "we'll be back tomorrow."

"Take care, Hermione!" Luna hugged her carefully and she and Ron walked to the door. Before leaving, the redhead spoke.

"If something happens, you'll inform us at once, won't you?"

Harry nodded and smiled patting Ron's back, who returned the same action with a grin ... and a wink.

When the door closed behind them, Harry turned his gaze to Hermione who, in turn, looked at her baby. He walked over to her and took the chair closest to the bed. Unfortunately, as they had not had much time to talk, the silence was so thick and heavy it's almost palpable. Harry did not know exactly how to approach Hermione, though the desire to have her in his arms tickled the bottom of his stomach. The girl looked up at him only to find Harry's tender and timid stare. "Are you okay?" she asked a little nervous.

Harry snorted wryly. "I should be asking you that, you know?" Gathering his courage, Harry pulled out a hand to her cheek to caress it fondly. Hermione allowed his touch and her nervousness dissipated slowly, but her stare changed into questioning one. Harry recognized the way her eyes glowed, like those times when something intrigued her and she just had to go running to the library at Hogwarts.

"I'm tired, but fine." The girl paused and sighed then, Hermione softly pronounced the name of the man she loved the most in the whole world, "Harry ... I ... I wanted to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly."

"Ask then." Harry said still stroking her cheek.

"Why... why do you want to give your name to my child?"

To Harry, the response was immediate, without hesitation or doubt. He sighed and smiled at Hermione slightly.

"I'm amazed that being the smartest witch of our age you haven't guessed it yet!" When Hermione gave him a look of exasperation, Harry shook his head in disbelief, "Because I love you, Hermione."

The girl opened her eyes at hearing him say those words. It was the second time he said 'I love you' and felt that, again, she melted, her heart swelled with hope and dreams she long ago discarded for thinking them too unreal.

"But-" Whatever Hermione wanted to say, couldn't. Harry lowered his face over hers and kissed her softly, and she kissed him with equal tenderness. The boy broke the kiss but didn't part more than a few inches from her. Harry watched Hermione blush, feeling the blood in his veins running faster through his veins and wondered if this would be his body's response every time he kissed her.

"I love you, Hermione and there's nothing I want more than to be by your side ... well, if you accept me, that is," he said, doubt creeping into his mind. The girl opened her mouth in surprise and Harry smiled. "I don't know if I explained myself or how to do it, you know? I'm not good with these things; I just know that I don't want to be away from you ever again. I can't ... all these months I was in despair not knowing where you were and when I did find you-" Harry closed his eyes tightly, trying to calm the anger that had been boiling up since the previous day when they found her.

"I want to be with you and I am willing to do anything to achieve it. I ... I wanted ... wanted it, us, to be different. I wanted to surprise you with a romantic dinner and... well ..." Harry looked down at the floor, embarrassed to say he wanted to conquer her properly.

When Hermione looked up, she already had tears in her eyes, but the green-eyed continued: "I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend and after a while, my wife," Harry sighed deeply, "but I wished it to be perfect for you." Harry sighed again, but now sadly still looking at her honey eyes, "but Cho screwed it all and you can't even start to imagine how much I regret not being honest with you from the beginning. You just don't have an idea ... can't begin to imagine the pain I feel to see what she'd done and the extent of what she did -what we all did to you. I will live with it for the rest of my life. You paid the price for my mistakes and I can't erase all your suffering."

Harry's eyes welled with tears, a single tear fell, but it burned like liquid fire falling. Hermione felt her heart break into a million pieces hearing what he said, the tone in his voice that told her how gutted he was; seeing his features crumple and for an instant, he looked like he was ten years younger.

She thought about what it could be... and that it really hurt Hermione; Harry's despair. Hermione placed her hand over his, the very one that was still on her cheek. "I... I just know that I love you and I want to be with you until the last day of my life. I want ... well, I want, if you'll let me, be at your side from now on, to love you, to care for you, to _respect_ you... and want that little, beautiful girl, Eleanor, to be ours. I want to be a father to her-"

"But ... her father ... you don't have any responsibility," said Hermione. Her voice cracked, "You don't need to take care of us. We'll be a burden for you. **No**. You can't ruin your life this way. You... you can still find someone to make your dream of having a family come true! Your own children. You deserve someone better. Someone amazing and beautiful, pure," she said with a hitch to her voice, "unstained. Don't feel responsible for something that is not your fault. You're ... very noble, but you don't have to."

"You still don't understand, do you?" Harry was already alarmed, at what the girl was saying seemed to be a rejection that slowly ate his mind and heart. "It's not the fault or responsibility, is because I love you, Hermione. I couldn't fall in love with anyone else because you are the one for me. Don't push me away, I won't stand it. I don't care who the bastard was!" he paused. Harry was getting out of control and had to breathe in and out slowly, his anxiety held barely at bay. "I want to be a part of the life of this beautiful girl. For me, it's just yours and nobody else's." Harry sighed again. He tried to control the pain that ripped at his soul just seeing how badly Hermione was. And she couldn't help but to think that this was nothing but a dream. "If you want, you can think about it. When you come with a reply, you'll tell me; meanwhile I will be by your side and take care of you."

* * *

It had been almost a week since little Eleanor came into the world and Hermione was desperate. Although she could finally eat decently, she didn't like being locked in a hospital room. Surprisingly, her baby girl hadn't being noisy like the other's. Her child cried exclusively when she was hungry.

As Harry practically lived in the hospital with her, he got to see Hermione breastfeeding the baby, and in each of those times, the green-eyed man felt his whole body was burning. As soon as the brunette began to unbutton the top of her nightgown, Harry looked away. Hermione seemed oddly surprised at his sudden attitude, especially because he was present at birth and was able to see her semi-naked. He did it out of pity, but mostly because, although mentally scolded himself for that, could not help wondering what the child would feel to eat from her mother's breast -of course, Harry would've wanted to take the place of the small Eleanor but with other intentions ... and mentally cursed himself for even thinking it.  
Ron and Luna, as promised, were there the next day to visit Hermione and Eleanor. Harry took advantage of this and other occasions in which Hermione was accompanied, to leave.

The green-eyed man had to use a glamour, changing his hair to that of a redhead and his eyes to hazel so no one would know he hid his identity and could make his shopping in muggle and magical stores. He also took the opportunity to return to Grimmauld Place and make other arrangements for the two rooms that had been cleaned by Dobby and Kreacher, ahead as he had requested.

While Hermione was worried thinking she had nowhere to go, Harry made sure that this wouldn't happen. He would not leave her at her to herself.

Since Hermione still didn't give a response to his offer, Harry was starting to panic a bit more every day, but was making an effort to understand. Harry tried to analyze her point of view but that didn't make him feel any better. He understood that Hermione had difficulties on believing in someone having gone through such hell. This also made him determined to seek revenge. He didn't want to get carried away by hatred and anger, but Harry wouldn't allow all the inflicted damage on the girl go unpunished.

Hermione waited patiently to give him an answer. While that happened, he already had everything ready for their return to London. Harry was completely devoted to his beloved, and the tenderness he had for her and the small little girl made his heart regain confidence and heal, slowly but effectively. If necessary, Harry thought, he would wait forever, but wouldn't be apart ever again, even if Hermione rejected him.

* * *

"Well, ma'am," said the mediwizard on December 30 after reviewing Hermione and Eleanor's health in the morning, "you can go home. I'll fix your exit's papers. I'll be back in half an hour, meanwhile you can go get dressed." With this, the mediwizard went out of the room. Luna was at home finishing packing her things to return to Hogwarts and Harry, again, was absent. Hermione had no idea why.

Ron was with her and it made her a little anxious since he and Harry still did not know the details of her sad story even when they'd already heard much of her misfortune and was afraid on their inquiry.

"Did you hear that?" Ron asked cheerfully, "You can leave!" Hermione was sitting on the bed with Eleanor in her arms. The baby was fast asleep but the brunette did not seem so happy, "is something wrong?" The girl looked at him and the redhead could see the apprehension in her honey eyes.

"It's just... I have nowhere to go."

"You're kidding me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not, Ron." Hermione replied resentful at his tone. She could swear that the redhead was making fun of her, "I have nowhere to go. I don't even have clothes!"

It was then when Ron recalled he carried with him a package that pulled out from the pocket of his dragon's leather jacket. With his wand, Ron made the pack took its original size and placed it on the bed.

"Give me the baby. Take the package and go to the bathroom to get dressed."

"Get dressed?"

"Yes, this package has clothes for you," Ron blushed a little, "Luna chose them."

"But ... but ..." the girl was visibly alarmed. "How would I pay for the clothes? I have no money. I can't pay for either this or the hospital or anything, Ron."

The redhead looked at his friend's face to see that she was overwhelmed in shame. Ron inhaled and exhaled patiently and spoke softly.

"You didn't think we were going to leave you unprotected, did you? It's all arranged. All you have to do is get dressed."

"I don't understand."

"Everything has been paid," said Ron. He controlled his voice so as not to sound as if what he said was the most obvious and not offend Hermione. "Harry arranged Grimmauld Place to transfer you and the baby. So you both are going to live there."

"Why?" asked Hermione indignantly? "Shouldn't he have asked me first? Who does he think he is?! Deciding for me and-"

"I think you already saw that coming, Hermione!" Ron interrupted her softly, trying his best to control his exasperation,

"you know that Harry and I will not abandon you. Stop being so prideful!"

"But I ... I-I cannot accept it. It's not Harry's obligation, or yours."

"Who says that's the reason?"

"I don't want your pity."

"It's not about that!" Ron stood up from the chair he was and sat on the bed next to his friend and put an arm around her shoulders. "Don't take it like that. We want you to be fine."

"But... I don't have any means to pay ... I don't want to be an inconvenience."

After a long pause, he exhaled the next words boldly "Do you love Harry?" Ron's question made the girl look him straight in his blue eyes with surprise and she instantly blushed.

"I love him like I never believed I'd love someone." Hermione's answer came in a whisper as a silent tear was shed slowly. Her voice didn't falter. She did not hesitate and the answer came so sincerely that it made Ron smiled ... and someone else too.

"So I think that's enough to pay him with, Hermione. Harry loves you. All he wants is to be by your side and see you calm and happy ... even if you hadn't loved him back, he would've wanted to love you giving you everything. I know it. If you haven't realized by now it's because your pain is great and it's clouding your mind ... or because you are still the same as ever: bossy, proud and stubborn." Ron started laughing slightly and although Hermione seemed to be indignant, smiled a little. "Give me the baby and go get dressed."

Something in his words made her feel comfortable, although couldn't get rid entirely the nervousness in her.

As Hermione walked slowly to the bathroom, package in hand, closed the door and Harry entered the room. Ron was startled to see him there; Harry had a bright little spark in his eyes, a stance in the way he moved, like satisfied and proud of himself ... and Ron noticed that the door was open; the green-eyed man looking at his friend with a smile.

"You heard everything, right?" Ron muttered as Harry approached.

"Yes ... Thanks, Ron."

"Why?"

"Because I think Hermione needed to hear it from someone else to feel that what's happening is not the product of her imagination. She still doesn't believe in us ... and I understand."

"Eventually, mate." Ron clapped him on the arm and Harry nodded resignedly but happy. He saw the baby and took the little girl off of the redhead's arms.  
He began to analyze little Eleanor tenderly: the upturned nose and lips were Hermione's; what frightened him was all the rest. She had little hair but its shade was between brown and gold and her eyes were between honey and gray ... and so, he tried to guess ...

Harry wanted to look for evidence of her father ... and more or less seemed to approach the name of one of the perpetrators. This was an unconscious act, mostly out of desperation since Hermione wouldn't say a word, but what prevailed in him was that Eleanor was his Hermione's and he loved her as much as her mother. Harry was genuinely amazed that this little bundle of joy captured his heart for the very first moment he touched her. An instinct to protect her was born in him, but couldn't find a way to explain how it could've happened.

While the view appeared to be an intimate moment between father and daughter, Hermione had gone silent, standing just outside the bathroom and found that moving sight that made her heart melt with love: the two most important persons of her life, together. Long ago, she had desired that the children she'd have were Harry's and the thought that her baby girl wasn't constricted her heart painfully. However, he already saw her as his own. _'Father is the breeding, not the begetter,'_ thought Hermione, _'her father despised her before she was even born, and Harry is willing to occupy that place, with love'_.

What kind of man is willing to do it? Only those who love unconditionally.

Hermione silently approached Harry and he recoiled from the shock when the girl hugged him. He wasn't expecting such reaction from her, though Harry smiled and while with one hand held firmly the little one, with his other arm surrounded Hermione's waist, the woman who owned his heart.

Ron did not want to interrupt the moment, so silently admired his friends. For him, what he saw was right, in place, as he thought it should've been ... and felt really happy for them.

Five minutes later, the mediwizard came with some papers to sign Hermione and Eleanor's exit. Harry and the brunette did so and went to the reception room ... where Dobby awaited. Ron, promising to pay a visit sometime soon, waved at them and apparated off to the Burrow, while Harry, Hermione and the baby, with Dobby's help, apparated inside Grimmauld Place.

Everything in Black Manor looked almost as usual, but at least it didn't have that gloomy air you'd find at a funeral. Now there was more light and ornaments that gave some life to the dreary place. Dobby went to the kitchen to continue helping Kreacher with the food Harry ordered them to prepare while Harry made Hermione follow him to the first floor. The girl didn't know why and she was still a little overwhelmed by all the attention, but at Harry's pleas, she agreed to accompany him.

He took her to the room down the hall on the first floor, next to that, was another door. Harry pulled Hermione in front of the first one and opened it.

The room was just for her: a huge four poster bed, surrounded with crimson curtains, its fabric and duvet's were crimson as well; the room had a dresser with a huge mirror and feminine items, the ceiling's color was an exquisite ivory and had a huge chandelier that hung, like the ones adorning noble houses. In itself, the room wasn't exactly luxurious or pretentious because Harry knew that Hermione was modest but although some things were simple, had a poise and elegance. Portraits of her, her parents, friends and fellow Hogwarts' classmates and the Weasleys gave a familiarity to the place.

"You ... you did all this," Hermione was genuinely surprised and Harry nodded with a slight smile, still holding Eleanor in his arms. "But ... you didn't have to, Harry. This must have cost you a fortune!"

"Not really," said Harry, who approached the wardrobe, "Open it." He signaled with his head to one of the three doors from inside the room. Hermione obeyed ... and found clothes hanging in hooks and some were folded. When she took one of the garments hanging on a hook, and some more folded in the shelves; Hermione pulled out a beautiful blue satin dress and Hermione let out a little cry of surprise at the quality of the fabric. She checked and found another variety of dresses, coats and capes. Almost everything was muggle design and, smiling, Harry said: "Luna chose the clothes, hope you like it. In the drawers is the underwear," here, Hermione looked at him with eyes wide open and the boy blushed instantly, but added: "mmh Luna chose that too, as well as for the shoes." Hermione found heels, sandals and boots of different designs below the clothes and was surprised to see everything organized, "we haven't bought a lot because I want you to choose what you like. All this is for you ... ummhh ... so you won't be walking around ... naked." Harry looked away so that the girl couldn't see that he was blushing furiously.

Hermione said nothing but, like the boy, her face flushed, embarrassed. "You did not have to -this is much, Harry."

"This is nothing at all," replied the boy as he turned to see Hermione. "The back door is the bathroom and this ... come, open this one." Harry went to the third door that was next to the bed. Hermione obeyed and her hands covered her mouth to stiffen a gasp and opened her eyes in a way that seemed about to pop out of their sockets.

This room wasn't as big as the other one but it had more meaning for Hermione: the walls were a pale pink and the ceiling was like the previous bedroom, it had a huge wooden cot and a large changing table with many drawers; at one end, was a wooden rocking hippogriff, which wings gave the impression of moving; next to it was a large box, also of wood, whose lid was open only to poke the amount of stuffed animals it contained. The rug's color was the same crimson of the curtains in the other room and a closet with clothes for Eleanor, toys and many more. On top of the crib hung a mobile with snitches and stars that changed color.

Hermione was planted where she was while Harry placed the baby in her new crib. The girl inspected the room in surprise ... and in a corner found the basket that she'd made with her hands, back where she was in Haryana. Hermione covered her face, hiding her overwhelming shame behind her trembling hands and started to cry openly, making Harry ran to her side and hold her tightly to him, as if protecting her from whatever was haunting her.

"You shouldn't have done all of this, Harry." Hermione whimpered still covering her face with her hands, "you really shouldn't. T-this is too much ... I don't deserve it! I don't deserve any of this!"

"Of course you do!" Harry replied and hugged her tighter. "Eleanor and you deserve everything. You're never going to live in poverty ever again."

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione removed her hands and then Harry's heart broke watching her pained expression, but for him, she was beautiful, even if her face was drenched in tears and sorrow. The girl hugged him tightly around the waist and cried as Harry comforted her gently stroking her back. "How will I pay you all this?"

"No, you don't need to."

"But-"

Before Hermione could continue arguing, Harry captured her warm and salty lips with his in a tender kiss she gladly responded. Her heartbeat sped up, letting herself being loved by him, making her long lost trust come back at her. It felt so right to be in his arms ... the heat of Harry and all that he did for her and her baby, did nothing but reaffirm the answer that was already planning to give him since that morning when she went out of the bathroom to see him and the baby at that touching moment.

**- TO BE CONTINUED -**

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, guys, I wanted to say this: I've been getting some crude opinions about the OOC and I agree, but let's just remember that this is fiction and this version, _my version_, of things is as valid as anyone else's. I know Luna is not much of an affectionate character and that sometimes too much love displaying isn't normal, but the plot needs it. In fact, one of the reviews criticized how wrong my conception of Hermione is and that I'm trying to approve or reasure that suicide is an available option. On the contrary. Hermione has emotions like everyone else, she's not a robot, and I belive that most people between 13 and 21 years old had, at least once, thought on suicide. I do NOT approve or encourage ANYONE to commit such an awful act! And to prove my point, if you keep reading, you'll find out what I'm trying to say.

Suicide, when under depression, seems like the only way to escape, but that's just an illusion. The problems won't vanish, the problems will remain whether you're alive or dead and you'd give up a lot of opportunities -opportunities that are there for you if you do your best to find them- to be happy. Happiness won't come from anyone else, but from yourself. Look at what happened in this story with Hermione, when she thought there was nothing else for her in the world, suddenly a hope shone for her.

You'd never know what brings for you the next day. There is always hope, you just need to keep fighting and prove yourself what you're capable of. Don't give up!

:D


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